It’s that time of year – the holidays. A time when loneliness and the extreme awareness of isolation can creep into our lives. It also happens to be a time of year that those we’ve watched walk away from us, have a tendency to reappear – at alarmingly high rates - for a Christmas holiday hookup.
Beware the lonely holiday hearts club, ladies. (And men, this goes for you, too.) Nostalgia, sentiment and warm feelings will enter the minds and hearts of many over the next few weeks, and many may try to take advantage of this, deliberately or unintentionally. Many may rethink their current situations. Many may long for a life change. Many may need a shoulder to cry on. Many may realize that they’re just plain lonely.
And many – may start ringing your phone or sending the proverbial “Hey” text your way.
Beware the Christmas holiday hookup; a common side effect of the lonely holiday hearts club.
The Ghosts of Christmas Past
As hard as it may be, don’t back pedal into the past at this time of year. Don’t grab hold of the Ghost of Christmas Pasts hand and take that evening ride that Ebenezer Scrooge took, thinking it’ll lead you to your happiness and your heart like it did for him.
That story is a fable; a fictitious tale. And while a journey of the soul like that can indeed be life altering, the reality is that taking that journey with someone you’re not compatible with at a time of the year when rosy emotions gloss real life isn’t wise. The person who left you previously did so because they didn’t see themselves as part of your story. So don’t fool yourself into thinking they’ll be on the pages that will write your future.
A holiday hookup can be detrimental to your future because it injects itself into your new beginning – a brand new year that begins with a clean slate. If you permit a holiday hookup to happen, it muddies your slate and mars something new and fresh by dirtying it up. A holiday hookup can send you off track, distracting you from your real goals and the things you’re really meant to experience, explore and achieve.
Don’t become derailed by a holiday hookup. Instead, stay on track and make plans for the future that are your own and that aren’t influenced by someone else’s presence in your life. Take stock of all the great achievements you’ve made in the passing year, all the personal growth you’ve experienced and be thankful and show gratitude for your failures.
Express Gratitude and Thank Your "Teachers"
Yep – you heard me right – I said failures; show gratitude for your failures and all of the “teachers” that were a part of them. Because it’s these failures that propel your growth. And if it weren’t for the “teachers” that came along to deliver those lessons, you wouldn’t have evolved into the individual you are today.
People are always going to let you down, folks. They’re always going to disappoint you. And this is always going to happen in all types of relationships – romantic, friendship, working relationships and familial ones – that’s life. It’s part of the human condition. And when this happens, you need to cope, not blame. And you need to keep in mind that it’s these moments in life. . . that help you carve out your new life.
It’s these moments in life that help you drill down to what really matters to you. It’s these moments that compel you to make huge life altering changes. It’s these moments that send you off into entirely different directions from where you first began. It’s these moments that make you review where you’ve been, what went wrong, and help you to determine what it is that you need that will truly make you happy. It’s these moments that make you “clean house” by ridding yourself of the people, environments and situations that no longer enhance your life in a positive manner or serve a higher purpose for you anymore.
It’s in these moments, folks that life - real life - happens.
So be thankful for these moments. Show gratitude for these failures and for the teachers who came along and taught you these valuable life lessons that sent you off in search of brand new horizons. If it weren’t for these people, you wouldn’t be experiencing the human condition. If it weren’t for these moments, you wouldn’t be living real life.
Write Your Own Future
Wish them well and then send them on their way, to head down their own path on their own new journey, leaving them to write the pages of their future on their own – while you construct yours using the new knowledge, tools and insights you’ve gained.
Do not permit the negativity of the past to enter the pages of your future. Rid yourself of those who do not value you and appreciate you. Rid yourself of all those who do not add consistent positive energy to your immediate environment and bring positive value to your life.
Instead, surround yourself with like-minded individuals that see your value, appreciate what you have to offer, embrace your uniqueness and provide support to you on your journey. The energy of life is an equal balance of give and take.
When the Ghost of Christmas Past comes knocking at your door or rattles your bedpost in the dead of night, acknowledge him, express your gratitude for him having entered your life, and then roll over and keep dreaming about the brand new world about to unfold before your very eyes.
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” ~ Walt Disney
Sweet dreams, folks.