I read lots of stories submitted by women in the comments on the articles on this site, many of which contain an underlying tone of “I feel powerless, what should I do?” In addition to that, there’s an underlying feeling of helplessness that accompanies them.
I read it every single day, scores of women desperately wanting to “do, do, do” something to control the direction a relationship is moving. To speed one up to their satisfaction, to make a man date them in the way they prefer, to nudge the man along…you get the idea.
But here’s the thing ladies. You DO have power - but in many cases, you’re simply choosing not to enact it.
Let’s explore, shall we?
Two Words Apply Here: Passive Versus Proactive
Passive: “Accepting or allowing what happens, without active response or resistance.”
Proactive: “Creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen, rather than responding to it after it has happened.”
Get where I’m going here?
I experience this everyday in the comments on this site; women behaving in a passive manner about their future and the man that may or may not be in it.
I see women literally waiting for a man to “pick” them, to reach a decision about them, literally putting their dating lives on hold after a couple of dates or a sexual experience or two. Now granted, it has taken me many, many years to understand the very valuable difference between passive and proactive.
But let me tell you ladies, once you do grasp the concept – empowering is the word.
Free Will and the Power of “Choice”
We all have free will and as such, we are all gifted with the ability to make our own decisions and choices in life.
However, with that gift comes a great amount of responsibility and accountability – for the decisions YOU make. (Heavy is the head that wears the crown…) It goes without saying that we all need to be mature enough to realize that there will be some personal responsibility and accountability that goes along with the power to make those hefty decisions.
When you choose to date passively, you have to accept that you’re choosing to be acted upon by others, thus willfully placing yourself into a rather powerless, hopeless position and one in which you may end up victimized.
However, when you choose to date proactively, you are now choosing to rule your kingdom, in total control of your future and the man who may or may not be in it, thus placing yourself in a very powerful position, one of great hope, and one in which you will not end up victimized.
It’s a mindset, ladies, and it’s a choice. In life we have to be responsible and accountable for our own actions and decisions and when you decide to passively participate in life, often you end up victimized. In the end, there’s no one to blame because you made that co-dependent decision (your decision “depended” upon someone else’s decision, instead of your own), you made the choice for it to be that way.
If, however, you responsibly make a different choice and you chose to proactively participate in life, often you end up feeling in control, feeling as if the world is your oyster. In the end, YOU are the one that is responsible for all the blessings that the universe bestows upon you for your wisdom and strength in making that independent decision for yourself.
Start to look at the world as your oyster ladies, and the men in your life as your kingdom. Instead of passively sitting and waiting, waiting, waiting for men to “pick” you, for THEM to make a decision about YOU – choose to take full advantage of all that life has to offer and of all that being a single, independent modern woman has to offer and instead, YOU make a decision about the MAN. You “pick” your man.
You have the power to do that. You have say-so in the matter. You are free to make your own decisions for yourself and you are empowered by your independence to do so.
Here’s What You DON’T Have The Power To Do:
- Make a man love you.
- Make a man want to enter into a relationship with you.
- Make a man date you and court you in the manner you prefer.
- Make a guy get his act together (i.e. remove other women from it).
- Control the speed at which the relationship progresses (or whether or not it progresses at all).
Here’s What You DO Have the Power To Do:
- Walk away from situations and people that do not make you happy, that make you feel used, and that do not care to fulfill your needs.
- Be proactive about finding what it is that you want, what will make you happy, a man that wants the same things as you do and one that’s willing to fulfill your needs.
- Make the choice to be responsible and accountable for your own happiness.
Don’t choose to be a helpless victim. Instead, grab hold of the power that is yours. At no other time in history ladies, have women been so powerful and been granted the independence and control over their own lives that they have now – right now, at this very moment in time.
Be a part of that movement, be a part of that revolution and the power that is female force – a piece of that belongs to you, and it’s sitting in your lap, right now as we speak.
Grab your crown and place it high on your head, embrace the responsibility it carries and become accountable for your own happiness – and rule YOUR kingdom with an iron fist. Send them to the dungeons never to see the light of day again, or honor them a Knight at your round table with the possibility of someday becoming your Prince Charming.
The choice is yours – the power is yours. Now what will you do with it – will you start a (dating) revolution?