Throughout primitive and ancient times, the idea of “man” and “masculine energy” has meant something different from currently held modern views.
Central to the belief of many primitive tribal, ancient cultures is the idea that a male must earn his right to be a man through hardship - he must "earn" his power.
In modern culture, the idea of “manhood,” as a stage of male power as a prize to be earned, has become as far away from previously held beliefs as is possible. Instead, what we have are a set of “fake” rituals revolving around male dominated social activities that range from sports to dating/sexual milestones.
As a result, the word "man" has become a synonym for "male." When the reality is, just because you're a male, doesn't necessarily mean you're a "man" in the true sense of the word. And because of this weak association, a modern man in today's culture is a man simply because he is bigger, stronger and has male sexual organs.
Males no longer have to “earn their power” as a man - as a right to be considered a real "man" in the true sense of the word.
So what you're left with is a society that's filling up fast with emotionally immature "man boys" instead of real men.
Killing the Boy to Save the Man
He had to kill the boy inside (through hardship and rituals of "initiation").
When a male is young, he is a boy in the sense that his actions are young, naive and represent the true child. In tribal cultures the child, the young boy inside, must be sacrificed in order for the real man to live and manifest within him.
Male initiation ceremonies ranging from lion hunting, vision quests alone in the desert, anesthetic free circumcisions and more have been used as transformation methods intended to "strip" away the boy inside by many tribal cultures. Similar ceremonies revolving around killing, warfare and tremendous acts of drug induced torment have been used alongside those to reach the true meaning of "masculine" power.
In order to survive, the man must move toward true masculine qualities...leadership, strength, protection behavior, mentoring of younger males and an unshakable belief (confidence) in his purpose - as a man. The pain of killing the boy inside leads to a deep level of change that forever impacts the man to advantage - to the survival of the society as whole.
Modern Western countries now tend to be too soft and sheltering of males to allow for these deep lessons that transform boys into men. Add to that a change in the modern definition of parenthood and a loss in the value of traditional gender roles - and we're left with a population of adult boys, "man boys." Instead of real men in the true sense of the word.
The Rise of the Adult Boy
A famous author writing on the subject of hero myths as stories of transformation from "boy to man" presented the ancient belief that a man must be created by following nothing more than the path of the "hero." The path of the hero follows many hardships, trials and deadly obstacles which the man must overcome.
He may be of many cultural types - a lover, king, warrior, redeemer/saint - and may even be a reformed tyrant beaten down and transformed by hardship. No matter what the type of hero or his journey, all of these stories have one thing in common:
For the hero to survive he must kill the boy...and rise to be a hero.
It's no accident that most of these myths involve, in some way, winning the heart of a fair lady. Modern culture no longer encourages traditional hero worship and male initiation through methods of proving manhood - either to a woman or a culture.
As a result, males in many modern cultures now lack the true transformation of "boy to man." We no longer have men - we have “adult boys.”
Many men are now living in a state of "adult boyhood," trapped in a state of immature "boy" thinking. Which has lead to an increase in "Adult Boy Syndrome" also known as "Peter Pan Syndrome," and an abundance of adult men with low EQ (emotional quotient) and EI (emotional intelligence).
We have immature adult males no longer able to present themselves as true men in any capacity - from leadership to careers to relationships.
The Adult Boy in Relationships and Dating
This lack of true male energy could not be more devastating to your dating life - for men and women both. No longer does a man have to win a women by proving his leadership to her.
The mature male pursuit of a women requires that a man have the ability to provide the woman solid proof that she should accept his leadership as a man. The obstacles of a hero in winning his princess are the barriers in providing the proof she needed in order to give herself freely and willingly to the real man.
As a result of this “lack of proof” in the modern day male, the "adult boy" has taken a majority place in the dating world and women now give themselves away too freely to low value men (adult boys) who have no intent of maturely fulfilling her needs as a women.
The adult boy cheats, lies, is selfish, lacks confidence and is insecure. The adult boy lives off of a women rather than provides for her. The adult boy "plays" at dating and plays for sex, much like a child plays with toys. He sees nothing wrong with the destruction of women to feed his “boy” needs.
In short, this has left a litter of destroyed, abused and ruined women in society. Women no longer know what it feels like to have true primal feminine feelings that come with being with a mature man that exhibits masculine energy. True manly behavior in the real "mature" sense has sadly become an unknown quality to many women today.
And regretfully, this situation shows no real sign of stopping any time soon because society no longer requires initiation rituals that strip the "boy" from the male.
Feeling the Masculine Energy
Inside every women, at a primal level, is a built in mechanism to “feel” the presence of true male qualities. Indeed, in many cultures, a males failure to kill the boy results in low levels of attraction and quality mating for him.
In short, primitive cultures believed that when it came to mate selection - a woman would know a real man when she "felt" him.
The transformation of "boy to man" allowed the man to be changed on a deep level resulting in an unshakable projection of true "masculine" leadership qualities and confidence. It was that which allowed the new man to “prove his leadership” while allowing a woman to safely express the true feminine qualities nature provided her.
A real man (masculine) will, on a primal level, literally allow a woman to be what she truly is - a woman (feminine).
In modern countries, we see the same two processes in males repeating all over the world as a result of failure of initiation (stripping away the "boy"):
1) The young male fails initiation. Thus he remains too “nice” and gives away his power to the woman via insecure, approval seeking behavior (immaturity). He will have success in dating only with time and hurtful experience.
2) The second process is one of skewed male power. The idea that a man should dominate a woman. This leads to an abundance of female hating, misogynistic, using and abusing men.
Women want neither of two.
If the boy, however, undergoes initiation in his tribal culture - he emerges as a man who knows how to “keep his power.” As a result, women feel differently, see him differently and he changes the type of woman he looks for in selecting a partner.
Modern Man And Failure To Earn His Power by Peter N. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. (No Derivative Works — You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work. Noncommercial — You may not use this work for commercial purposes. Attribution — You must attribute Modern Man And Failure To Earn His Power to Peter N. (with link).)
About the Author: Peter is a specialist in Biomechanics and Periodization Science. He is also a qualified Teacher. Peter has an extensive background in Sports Science and due to his Military skills, he is in demand to a wide range of clients. Currently working as a SOF Performance Trainer while running his own personal training business, Peter is an enthusiastic reader of many subjects with an interest in outdoor pursuits and sports.