"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Things Every Woman Must Have

Obviously women are much different than men. As a result, they need certain things in their life to make them feel fulfilled, happy and healthy.

I thought it would be nice to discuss the importance of those things and take a look at why these are valuable to women and the benefits that they can provide.

Below is a list of things I feel every woman must have.

A Support System

Women like to talk and they have a varied and wide range of emotions. Talking helps women to move through these emotions and process them in healthy ways to rid themselves of the anxiety that these emotions tend to cause.

Ladies, get yourself a great support system of other women going. Include friends, family members, co-workers – whomever is willing to listen and lend a supportive ear. But it shouldn’t be your man, it should only be other females or one very close male friend that you trust you can confide in.

One Year Alone

Women have a tendency to jump from man to man, thinking that they need a man to provide them with their happiness – they need a man to make them happy. This isn’t true. Yes, love and a man can add to your happiness, but it is not the end-all-be-all to your happiness.

And a man should only ADD to it, he shouldn’t BE it.

I believe every woman should spend at least one year alone, with herself. Taking the time to get to know yourself, really get to know yourself without the distraction of a man or dating or relationship issues, adds immense value to your overall happiness. Additionally, you will get in touch with what it is that truly makes you happy.

Another benefit is that once you’ve gone a year alone, you become stronger. You realize that you can make it on your own and once you start dating again, you’ll feel much stronger and much more in touch with your true self.

Many of the fears and anxieties that plagued you previously will diminish.

A Broken Heart

I know, this sounds rather counterproductive to your overall happiness and well being. However, a broken heart can actually reap positive benefits. Let’s face it, once you’ve had your heart broken, you begin to look out for yourself a bit more. You learn valuable lessons about yourself, about relationships and about men.

The broken heart experience is a human one. It happens to both men and women. But once it’s happened, there’s nothing left to fear. The worst thing that could have happened, has already happened. As a result, a broken heart can liberate you from your worst fears.

Your Own Money

Nothing makes a human being feel worse than being under someone’s thumb. A woman should always have a certain amount of money under her own control.

This provides security and a feeling of value and self-worth. It also provides you something much, much more valuable – independence. And the ability to leave, make your own decisions and carve your own path in life.

A Great Male Friend

This needs to be a platonic male friend – one that you’ve never been intimate with in any romantic way. Receiving a male point of view can be extremely beneficial to a woman to help her keep her emotions and feelings of self-worth in check.

Additionally, having a male friend in your life helps you to trust men, see that they’re not all bad guys, and helps you to maintain a healthy perspective about the relationships that can take place between men and women. Every woman needs a great male friend that she can trust.

An Independent Attitude

I am woman, hear me roar. Every woman needs to ring that mantra in her head over and over again until she believes it.

Confidence and independence are very attractive. No matter how bad things get, tell yourself, “I am woman, you WILL hear me roar.”

Let’s face it, co-dependence is ugly on a woman. It doesn’t attract men to you, it actually repels them from you.

Once you develop an independent attitude about yourself and about life, a funny thing happens – you actually become independent of it.

A Little Black Dress

Need I say more? Every woman should have the proverbial little black dress. When a woman wears this very special piece of attire, her confidence level soars, her attraction factor rises and she feels great. This classic little addition to a woman’s attire hasn’t stuck around for eons for no reason.

The little black dress represents much more than a piece of attire in your wardrobe collection. It represents confidence, sex appeal and self-worth. It’s much, much more than just a dress.

One Day A Month At The Hair And Nail Salon

It’s no secret, when you look your best, you feel your best. Taking care of yourself and being good to yourself are incredibly valuable to feeling your best at all times.

Get those pedicures, get those nails done and get that great, trendy hair style you’ve always wanted. Get comfortable with changing your look from time to time and reinventing yourself. Take a cue from Madonna. Ever notice that with every album release she completely reinvents herself? There’s a reason for that. It keeps you fresh, keeps you feeling confident and keeps you believing in yourself.

A Great Jewelry Set

It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a $10 black cotton shirt. Put a great pair of earrings on, a great blingy necklace and a pretty ring – and you look, and feel, like a million bucks.

It doesn’t take much. I’m not talking diamonds and pearls here, ladies. There’s a lot of nice costume jewelry out there today of quite good quality to choose from. Have a great set of clear, crystal pieces – earrings, ring, necklace and bracelet. They’ll go great with that little black dress as well as a your favorite pair of old faded jeans. And when you wear them, even if they only cost $60 bucks to throw together, you’ll feel like a million bucks.

A Nice Handbag And Pair Of Shoes

Sure, we’d all love a pair of $900 Louboutin’s and a $3,500 Gucci handbag. But you don’t have to spend several paychecks to receive the same effect. Platform heels and nice leather handbags are all over the market for much less and represent the same style’s.

Grab yourself a nice $100-$150 dollar leather handbag and a few great pairs of $80 platform heels if the designer one’s are too far out of your reach. Throw on that little black dress and that blingy jewelry set you’ve just purchased and you’re going to look like a knock-out . Better yet, you’re going to feel like one.

A Poem: A Woman Should Have


Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she's content to leave behind.

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry.

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

Eight matching plates, wine glasses and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A feeling of control over her destiny.


How to fall in love without losing herself.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend, without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY.

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over.

What she would and wouldn't do for love or more.

How to live alone... even if she doesn't like it.

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table or, a charming Inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing.

What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month...and a year.

Credited to Maya Angelou but first published in Glamour Magazine,
May 1997 Glamour List Column by Pamela Redmond Satran

After I wrote the above piece, I discovered this beautiful poem that echos many of my beliefs above. I couldn’t agree more.

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Anonymous said...

And don't forget - 'inspiration'. And I would like to say "thankyou" for that.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Awe, thank YOU. . .*blushing*

You ladies all keep me going :-)

Anonymous said...

I thank you so much for that, and right now I am on that road from a bad relationship and I am patting myself on the back because it's been over a year. I am so glad that I found you, you really help me in so many ways, thank you again! God Bless you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for continuously reminding me of the strength of my core being. Happiness to you..xo

Anonymous said...

Keep doing exactly what you're doing...empowering women!!!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

All of you ladies, all women out there, are so much more valuable than they see themselves. And much stronger than they see themselves.

Women are as strong as a tank if you ask me. Yes, their emotions may veer out of control at times, but the strength is still there. It just needs tapped into is all.

I mean . . if you read the stories here on this site, on the dating articles here, all the horror stories and the things men have put women through . . do you honestly think that men could handle all they dish out if the roles were reversed? No way, absolutely not.

Men may be the physically stronger gender, however, women are resilient like no other. Their power to withstand heartache, heartbreak, sadness, cruelty, abuse, poor treatment, insults and ignorance - nothing in this world compares to the strength of a woman, ladies. Nothing.

Women are survivors. And they will continue to survive - and thrive. And it's this resilience that becomes the empowering driving force. Women are making great strides these days compared to where they were 50 years ago. Look at all the women that won in the election this year:


They broke records. They took that glass ceiling and they rocketed a semi through it. As a collective force, there is no greater power than women. If you see a group of men charging at you, it can be intimidating. However, if you see a group of women charging at you, it can be damn downright scary. ;-)

You ladies are all survivors in one form or another - and you're all still standing.

So just remember that - people have thrown their best at you, they've hit you with all they've got . . . and you're still standing.

And you will continue doing so.

Anonymous said...

Cannot agree more with the heart break part. Its necessary ....a lot. I know that... It actually helps to grow.
And yes, women are far more resilient than men. "We don't need them, they need us"...is a dialogue from some movie I watched long ago .. From a female protagonist ...loved it.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas MoA. And may you have a peaceful and prosperous New Year! Perhaps 2013 will be the best year yet - I am crossing everything in anticipation... X

Anonymous said...

Happy Christmas Mirror of A, have a great 2013.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Thanks for all the good wishes, ladies! Treat yourselves today and get some New Year's "bling" for yourself ;-)


Enjoy! It's snowing here and it's beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the beautiful words. It is easy to forget sometimes what we truly deserve and are capable of in life.

Anonymous said...

I have come thorough a couple of heartbreaks. It hurts very bad, it takes something from you, but instead gives you something valuable too. I wish every lady not to experience any break-ups even if it has teaching aspect. We need to teach our daughters and younger girls around us not to do the similar mistakes. thank you all for sharing your ideas. these are really inspirational.

Anonymous said...


I love your articles! They are really insightful and wise. Please could you write an article about how women can increase their self-esteem? This would really help lots of women out there. Surely, you know the secrets to a solid self-worth - your articles just radiate with power and confidence :)

Your help will be greatly appreciated!!

Anonymous said...

Mirror..... I just want to say thank you so much ..... I don't know you in person and you don't know me but your writings and conversations actually healed me.... thank you and please keep posting subjects because you are doing women great favor all around the world


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