Let’s face it, women provide men with a lot of excuses. It reminds me of an old tune “Up On Cripple Creek” by The Band. In that instance, the lyrics of the song identify that it’s a woman making excuses for her drunken man:
“Up on Cripple Creek, she sends me. If I spring a leak, she mends me. I don’t have to speak, she defends me. A drunkard’s dream, if I ever did see one.”
When it comes to dating, one of the big excuses for a man’s bad behavior that I hear often is, “I think he’s just intimidated by me.” I also hear, “He likes me, he just doesn’t want to admit it.” Wrong. He is not into you.
Men are simple creatures, ladies, and quite honestly, they are not that difficult to figure out (i.e. they wave relationship red flags you need to pick up on). They don’t have the complex range of emotions that women have and when they communicate amongst themselves, it’s very basic communication at best.
Women bring a lot of emotional turmoil and heartache onto themselves by throwing logic out the window and attempting to tune into a man using their emotions instead. Basic logic is what men use when communicating, not emotion. So why are you using emotions to decipher logic?
That’s like trying to listen to the radio – via the television remote control. In order to tune into an FM station, you need a radio receiver – not a remote control. Logic and common sense is your radio receiver, ladies. Emotion and the television’s remote control will do you no good here.
So when dating, don’t throw your common sense out the window. It’s your greatest, most valuable, asset. Let’s cut through all the background “noise” and get straight to the point - let’s listen to the music.
Signs That He Is Not Into You: Relationship Red Flags
You’re Calling Him: If he really likes you, he’ll call you. He’ll make time for you and he’ll want to beat out other men by making his presence known. If he’s not calling you, it’s because he’s avoiding you. Don’t make a fool of yourself by trying to convince him to date you. It appears desperate to men. The more you call, the less attracted to you he will be (but he will still sleep with you first).
You've Been Dating For Months, Yet No "L" Word: If it's been 6 months or more, that's because he's not feeling anything for you and he probably never will.
He Takes Days, Weeks or Hours To Respond To Calls And Texts: You’re not high on his list of priorities.
He Disappears: Big red flag. He’s definitely not that into you. A guy who really likes a girl would NEVER even consider doing this for fear he’d lose her.
You’re Asking Him Out: If HE’S not asking YOU out, it’s because he doesn’t want to spend time with you. Men go after what they desire. Period – case closed. NEVER initiate a date – EVER. You’ll never know where you stand with him and he’ll never respect you completely. Become the aggressor and you’ll have a 3 week affair, but never a relationship.
He’s Offering A Burger When You Deserve A Steak: If he’s taking you to casual dining places rather than romantic tables covered in white linens, he doesn’t value you. Times are tough, I get that. But at least once or twice a month, he should be treating you like something of value.
You’ve Met Online, But He’s Never Asked Your Last Name: That’s because he doesn’t care who you are. Your name could be Knarly Marley and it wouldn’t matter because it’s the face and the body, not the person inside, that he’s focused on. You might as well be a blow up doll.
He’s Not Paying For Anything: He’s an opportunist looking for his next victim. He doesn’t value you and never will. He’s a bum. No respectable man lets a woman pick up the tab – EVER. Providing for a woman is what makes a man feel like a man.
He’s Aggressive About Sex: He doesn’t care to know who you are, but is dying to know what you look like naked.
His Text Or Email Conversations Are Usually No More Than 5 Words In Length: He’s being polite by responding, but he doesn’t really care. This is especially true in online dating. If he can’t converse with you prior to meeting you, he won’t bother much while you’re sitting across the table from him either - but he will still ask to see your apartment after dinner.
The Ex Comes Up Often: He’s hung up and he’s not over it. His heart is elsewhere and he’s emotionally unavailable. If the ex comes up often, you leave immediately or it’ll only be a matter of time before he’s comparing the two of you in his head – and you’ll never live up to his glorified memories of her.
You’re Performing Great Acts of Kindness While He Does Nothing: He’s taking advantage of you and probably referring to you as his cleaning lady to his buds. No man expects a woman he respects and admires to act like a servant. So stop doing laundry, running errands, baking cookies, cooking meals and cleaning his apartment.
He Hides His Phone: Because there are things in there he doesn’t want you to see. He’s communicating with other women, exchanging porn with friends, dealing drugs, stockpiling naked pictures of his exes or is a CIA operative. Any way you slice it, he’s not letting you in.
He’s Late All The Time: He’s being disrespectful and signaling that HIS time is priority, not YOURS. He’s also signaling that he doesn’t care about the consequences of upsetting you.
He Went To An Important Event Without Inviting You: He doesn’t see you as part of his lifestyle. You’re on the fringes, you’re not on the inside.
His Actions Don’t Match His Words: He’s a player and he’s playing you via mental manipulation. He’s telling you what he thinks you want to hear – and then doing whatever the hell he wants.
He Refers To Himself As A Player: He’s warning you that he’s in it for fun and games, not long term commitment. A man who wants to be with you long term will NEVER want you to think this of him. But a man who doesn’t care about you, will want you to think he’s a real catch – so you’ll sleep with him to see what all the fuss is about.
He Can’t Commit To Plans More Than 24 Hours In Advance: He’s waiting for something better to do and you’re playing second fiddle. A guy who really likes you will want to take up your days and evenings so that no other man can.
When You’re Speaking, He’s Gawking In Other Directions: He’s tuning you out because what you have to say holds no value to him. He’s biding his time and going through the motions until the evening progresses – and he can then get “down to business” with you.
He Repeats Things He’s Already Told You Over And Over Again: He doesn’t remember anything he’s already told you because he’s running schtick on you. He’s been on loads of dates and he doesn’t remember who with. This is his game and he’s like a record stuck on repeat going through the motions.
He Won’t Give You A Drawer At His Place: If you’ve been spending lots of overnight stays there and this doesn’t eventually happen, it’s because he has no plans of you being there long term.
He Leaves The Room To Take Calls: He’s speaking to people you wouldn’t approve of and that he never intends to inform you of.
He’s Gone Before 9AM: If he’s spending the night and regularly leaves early in the morning rather than taking you to breakfast or spending the afternoon with you – you’re a booty call and/or friend with benefits.
He Avoids Eye Contact Or Sits Slightly Turned Away From You: He’s distancing himself from you because he has no real intention of ever “letting you in” or becoming emotionally intimate with you. But that doesn’t mean he won’t have sex with you.
He Just Wants To Be Friends: Translation – he doesn’t want a relationship - with you.
He Doesn’t Remember Important Things: If he forgets your birthday or a date you’ve made previously, it’s because you’re not important to him. However ladies, don’t expect him to remember the day you met, or the date of your first date, etc. We’re talking important events here.
You’ve Never Met His Friends Or Family: If it’s been 6 months and still nothing, he’s not going to make you a part of his life.
He Only Calls Late At Night Or When He’s Drunk: He’s looking for a “situation” not a relationship.
He’s All Over You In Private, But Acts Like He’s Your Buddy In Public: You’re a friend with benefits.
He Closes His Internet Browser When You Enter The Room: We all know why this happens.
He Openly Admits He Hates Things You Love: He could care less about the things you care about. Basically, this signals he doesn’t care about YOU.
He Chooses Time With Friends Over Time With You: You’re providing a nice distraction for him when there’s nothing better to do but he’ll never make you first on the list.
He Doesn’t Defend Your Honor: He has no respect for you and doesn’t feel he’s responsible for protecting you.
He Laughs At You, Not With You: He doesn’t care if he hurts your feelings and probably never will.
He Makes No Future Plans With You: That’s because when he peers into the future, he doesn’t see you there, standing beside him.
He Shows No Interest In Things or People You Love: He simply does not care about the things that are important to you or what makes you tick.
You Constantly Wonder, Is He Into Me? This is a sure fire way to know . . . that he’s not. Listen to your gut, Ladies.
It's Only Common Sense
This isn't rocket science, it's common sense. Notice what all of the things above indicate? They all generally point to his lack of interest, his lack of care and they’re an indication that there’s no future.
Logic tells us this. Don’t use your emotions to try to read anything else into it. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck – it’s a duck, Ladies.
Quack, quack, quack.