This one is going to be quick and dirty, ladies. Just the way a player likes it.
What is a player, you ask? Well, he’s a few things. He’s a man cultivating many relationships at once. He’s a man creating options for sex no matter what environment he’s in. He’s a man that plays mind games. He’s a man that is constantly “on” and working it.
He’s a touchy feely man. He’s a man that’s a braggart. He’s a man that’s egotistical. He’s an insecure man, secretly. He’s a man that’s selfish. He’s a man that cheats. He’s a man that manipulates women via their emotions. He’s a man who objectifies women (they’re sexual play toys, not human beings). Often times, he’s a misogynist (he secretly loathes women). But mostly, he’s a man that’s full of sh*t.
My apologies for being blunt, but it is what it is. And once you learn how to spot one, you’ll see this sideshow act coming from a mile away. There are a lot of them out there and they’re not just young guys. The player runs rampant amongst men in their 30’s, 40’s 50’s – across the board.
Below I’ve listed some quick tell tale signs that you’re dating a player. And if you’ve ever questioned yourself, “What is a player?” He’s the guy I’ve listed below.
Are you dating a player? Let’s find out.
So, what is a player? Below are the signs that signify you may be dating a player:
He Asks If You’re Bathroom Is Clean Before He Can Use It
If you bring him to your place for the first time and he says, “Can I use your bathroom?” And then follows it up with, “I know how you women are about leaving out underwear, bras, etc.” He has , to his delight, unexpectedly landed in a woman’s apartment many times before. A player knows that you give a woman the opportunity to hide her private stuff before you say hello to the Tidy Bowl Man.
When You’re On a Date With Him, He’s Disappears Often
If he’s constantly disappearing for the bathroom or conveniently forgetting something that he’s left in his vehicle on a regular basis, he either has severe bladder problems, is using drugs and “fixing” in those absences or is suffering from Alzheimer’s. But more realistically, you’re dating a player that’s communicating via text with another woman. If it was his buddy, he’d have no reason to leave.
If You Confront Him With A Question, He Repeats Your Question Before Answering
If you say, “Where were you last night?” and he answers by saying, “Where was I last night?” he’s buying himself an extra two or three seconds to think of a good excuse. And he only needs those few seconds to do so. A player is quick on his feet.
His Buddies Whisper To Him In Your Presence
Men generally don’t gossip. If his buddies are whispering in his ear, 9 times out of 10, they’re providing him with an update on one of his other “friends.” “Hey, I just saw Jewels over at Club X and she was with some guy.” If he suddenly splits to use the bathroom – he’s ringing Jewels.
He Often Uses Numbers When Referring To Women
If he refers to the bartender as a 5 and you as a 9, he’s objectifying women. To a player, you’re not a living creature with feelings; you’re a sexual play toy that he’s rating according to looks. Congratulations, you win – the boobie prize.
He Acts Like A Matchmaker For His Buddies
A player doesn’t want to help his buddy get laid without helping himself get laid first. And if his buddy wants it bad, the player, being quite competitive himself, will be sure to sleep with her first, rub it in his buddy’s face and then hand off his “seconds.”
This may sound unbelievable, but trust me, I have many male friends and I’ve witnessed this first hand on more than one occasion - the ole’ “buddy system.”
Ladies, if you’ve slept with a guy who then suggests meeting a friend that may be more suited for you, then you’re the baton about to be handed off.
He Often Loses His Cell Phone
This sounds ridiculous, I know. I mean, in this day and age, aren’t these things attached to your hip? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this lame one. “Sorry I didn’t call. I lost my phone.” Uh huh. Sorry I don’t buy it - because I haven’t lost my mind.
He Tries To Make You Feel Guilty For His Mistakes
If he’s late and you’re upset, the player will blame it on you. “You kept me on the phone too long.” Or, “You wanted me to dress up, so I dressed up” while he’s standing there in a t-shirt and jeans. No matter what, he spins it back on you. This is a true player – a master manipulator. He takes responsibility for none of his own actions and he’s not accountable for anything. He’s covered in grease and everything is always sliding off of him – and onto you.
His Cell Is On Vibrate and Hidden From View
If you’re laying on the sofa and you feel a rumble coming from his pants, chances are it’s not that he’s happy to see you – chances are, he’s hiding people from you that are trying to reach him. A player usually ignores that obvious rumble. And if it rumbles again, and again, and again – you can be sure that’s a woman trying to reach him and not Bob, down at the bar.
He Can’t Remember His Lies
If he tells you he can’t see you on Saturday because he works and then texts you on Monday and tells you he had a great time Saturday night with his buds, he’s telling so many lies and talking to so many women, he doesn’t remember who he’s told what to. A player can’t keep it straight because he’s juggling.
He Has A Cellphone Plan With All The Bells And Whistles
If he has the maximum minutes airtime plan and maximum minutes text plan, he’s probably a player. That’s an awful lot of communication capability. As a rule, many men don’t sit and chit-chat with their buddies for endless hours on the telephone. If he’s maxing out his plans, he’s definitely talking to someone, ladies. The only time this wouldn't apply is if he's a businessman, using the same phone for work and play. But the average Joe - he's not talking and texting another Joe for hours on end.
He Doesn’t Stay For Breakfast
If you’ve invited him into your humble abode and you wake the next morning only to find him dressing and about to run out the door, blabbering about his busy day ahead of him (a video game session with his buds and some Cheetos calling his name), he’s comfortable with the “hit and run” because he’s done it many times before. A player does the dirty deed and then bolts.
He Has Brand New Toothbrushes On Hand
The player is prepared for the one night stand. After many experiences with them, he knows that if you can get up and brush your teeth, he might get morning sex from you, too.
He Cancels Plans At The Last Minute
A player always has something better coming along, and most times, it’s the “easy girl” offering herself up for the evening.
He Tries To Make Plans At The Last Minute
That’s because he said or did something ignorant that upset the “easy girl” and he blew that opportunity for the evening – so now it’s your turn in the rotation. A player can’t make plans in advance because another “easy girl” may offer herself up in the interim.
He Only Texts Or Calls Late At Night Or In The Wee Hours Of The Morning
We all know this one. It has booty call or friends with benefits written all over it.
This is a true players favorite move. He's compelled to act this way, he can't help it. His desires must be met and to him, there's no shame in that. If you accuse him of this, he'll toss out an "I love you baby" just to get in the damn door. Ahh, the true player.
Here's how you handle this one. Tell him to come right over – and be quick about it because you can’t wait to see him – and then go to bed and don’t answer the door.
When he calls you to get you to come to the door - text him that you lost your phone.
He Doesn’t Answer His Phone In Your Presence
That’s because he can’t. It’s another woman ringing that phone and he can’t have that conversation in front of you. If it was really his buddy, a player would be sure to answer that call because he’d be afraid he might be missing something. A player always wants to be where the action is.
He’s Quick On His Feet
The player has an answer for everything and he’s quick with the comeback. Remember ladies, while you were out there cultivating social skills and grace – he was slumming it and cultivating skills of deceit, trickery and manipulation – and he’s damn good at it. Practice makes perfect.
A player doesn’t apologize, he shifts blame. And no matter how bad he’s hurt you or how awful he was to you the night before, he’ll never apologize for his behavior. He’s worked hard at developing swagger and he isn’t about to let that all go down the drain. He’s got a rep to protect and breaking hearts only adds to it.
He Looks Like The Cat That Ate The Canary And Wears A Cheshire Grin
Now, some of these are instant red flags. Others are more subtle and require a combination of a few. However, if your gut started tingling while reading this and you could relate to 4 or more of the above attributes being used in conjunction with one another - then there's a good chance you're being played. But don't go around playing your cards (appearing insecure) by lashing out with accusations - simply sit back in silence and observe.
If you really want to know if you're dating a player, listen to your gut. Women's intuition is very rarely incorrect, ladies.
So now I ask you. . .are you dating a player?