"Mirror, mirror on the wall. . .where did he go? And why hasn't he called?"


















Revenge On An Aries?

Getting hurt stinks, and getting even isn't always the answer - but it sure can feel good sometimes, right?

When attempting to exact your revenge on an Aries, consider the astrological landscape in the Aries profile. For that matter, consider the Aries themselves. Take a look at the depiction here in this picture. . .understand now?

Being a fire sign with great force and energy, you have to do this right. Aries male is the leader of the zodiac. The first, the one, the one and only (according to them). As the leader, and the only cardinal (initiator, starter) fire sign in the zodiac, Aries like to start things.

As the "babies" of the zodiac, Aries can be likened to an age range of 0-7. Thus, an enraged Aries can be much like a 7 year old throwing a temper tantrum. And they'll stoop. They're not above it. They can be very selfish, self-centered and truly insensitive.

Will They Feel Bad About It?




Only if you point it out to them in a subtle way (via your actions, not words). You see, very rarely does Aries take the time to think about others.

I'm not trying to be harsh here, it is what it is. Aries men in particular are so driven, so determined towards their own goals, that when they've behaving selfishly, they don't even realize it. As a result, they can be viewed as cold and very cutting. They also absolutely love to play mind games. I don't think they realize how painful that can be as they are doing it for pure enjoyment purposes.

An Aries male can tinker with a woman's head like no other. Spend enough time with one and you'll find that they're doing that with everyone. As a cardinal (initiator) sign, they love to start things - particularly little battles, being ruled by Mars, the God of War. Then they'll step back and enjoy the show.

And most times, they're only interested in hearing themselves speak. Take Marlon Brando for instance, an Aries male. (He's also a first week of April Aries male whom I personally think are THE worst when it comes to a warrior personality.)

Marlon Brando, on the set one day reportedly was caught saying:

"First it's my line. Then they say blah, blah, blah. Then it's me again."

I'm quite sure that when an Aries male doesn't have the floor and the spotlight isn't on him, what he hears probably sounds much like the teacher speaking in the old Charlie Brown cartoons . . . "wah, wah, wah."

So What's The Best Way To Exact Revenge On An Aries Male?


Start something first!

Keep your Aries one step behind you and you'll send them spiraling out of control. And what could be worse to the Aries? Yep, you got it - loss of control. Loss of leadership. Loss of power and strength. Poke a hole in the proverbial Arien's sails. Or his air mattress, for that matter, huh Michelle?

When you yank power and control away from an Aries, it's like taking candy from a baby. Without it, they're lost, confused and questioning themselves and their actions. Perfect!

Over at Seduction Central, a knowledgeable astrologer by the name of Jeffrey Kishner, wrote a post titled: How to get even with an Aries.

Here's An Excerpt From The Post


Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. This sign is also at the start of the zodiacal wheel, signifying beginnings, the burst of new life corresponding with the Spring Equinox. But that's not why you are here. An Aries man (or woman) screwed you over, and you want revenge!

An Aries man wants to initiate, to pioneer ... and what better way to get even than to stop him in his tracks! Saturn is the planet of obstacles and delays. Frustrate him by taking the wind out of his sails! Anything you can do to throw a brick wall in front of him will suffice.

Calling on an authority figure (ruled by Saturn) like a judge, the police or a boss will work wonders. A restraining order, some disciplinary action ... imagine how aggravating it will be for your Aries to get punished, when all he wants is to get ahead. . . . .

Additional Food For Thought


He Is Not Into You: Relationship Red Flags

What Is A Player: Signs You're Dating A Player

The Disappearing Reappearing Man: What To Do?

Men Disappear and Reappear: The Aftermath

Experiences With An Aries Male

What Is Nagging And Shifting Blame?

Dating: What Does It Mean When He . .

Women And Relationships: Reclaiming Your Power

Related Posts with Thumbnails

238 Comments:

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Anonymous said...

Love your post on the Aries male. I can certainly vouch for everything said here, but I would have to say that ten steps ahead is a lot better. Love that Aries male...every woman should have a least one in her life. LadyBull

Frank said...

I am an Aries male and I would like to point out that we take those sort of distractions and fall backs very seriously at first. As time goes on we overcome them quite easily and I should mention that we still end up further ahead one way or another. After all, our personalities demand that we pull ourselves out of those situations and end up in the leading position again. Eventually, as we move on to our prime, we get back at those who have tried to sabotage us and they all end up humiliated and looking like fools for even trying. In the end Aries will not fail.

MIRROR OF APHRODITE said...

Frank - you are definitely an Arien male!

Anonymous said...

i don't know why anyone would even bother trying to hurt a aries male there are not as they seem trust me i am very close friend with a aries male he tells me everything if you are trying to look for a way to hurt them its because they have hurt you first right!!!!! well you only see the tip of the ice berg there goal in a relationship is to be the best lover the can be for you and expect 100% in return they are very generous with money and time if you are too if he hurt you its because that was the only way he could show his feelings i am not saying it was right what ever hid did and i can assure you he regrets it now its all because you didn't listen to him and if your looking to hurt him well your about too lose the best friend or lover you will ever no as a lover they just want to make you feel like no other man can they will fight for you till the day they die and will risk there life to save yours if they need to you have hurt them you just don't see how yet talk to him ask him why and try too put your self in his shoes and you will see he only did it because that was the only way to make you realise how you hurt him you gave him no other choice and if your are going to hurt him well then after you finished find a safe place to hide and stay there for the rest of your life now other man can keep you safe from an aries man trust me

Anonymous said...

you sound just like my ARIES wife little girl.
Signed: Pisces husband

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Sorry Anonymous,
No little girl here. And the gentlemen that wrote the full post is no little girl either.

Doesn't surprise me that sensitive Pisces would take offense though. Don't fret tender Pisces. No one is out to get you. . .

Except maybe that Aries wife of yours. . . if you've screwed her over and "deceived" her somehow :-)

All in good fun . . .

Anonymous said...

My Aries boyfriend got someone pregnant! Initially he was begging me to forgive him, now he seems to have this wall up to hide from my anger and theias chicks agnger becsue he won't be with her. I'm SO upset but I don't know how to sting him! He's already deflated/defeated...at least he acts like it. But I don't care...kick him while he's down is what I want to do...just don't know how. Suggestions?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

To anonymous whose boyfriend got someone else pregnant - it's just like the article says, "So what's the best way to exact revenge on an Aries - start something first. Keep your Aries one step behind you and you'll send them spiraling out of control. And what could be worse to the Aries? Yep, you got it - loss of control. Loss of leadership. Loss of power and strength. Poke a hole in the proverbial Arien's sails."

Aries love control, attention, leading - and basically having everyone march to the beat of THEIR drum. So one way to irritate them, is to take all of that away from them. Don't follow, don't compete, don't give any attention. The best thing to do is to just make him go away and proceed as if he no longer exists.

Besides, if he's behaving irresponsibly (which he obviously IS, he did get someone pregnant so he obviously wasn't acting responsibly), you don't want him by your side anyway. Shake him off your leg and don't look back. If you do, he'll most likely only bring you more pain in the future and now, with a child on the way, you don't want to get bogged down or wrapped up in his poor decisions anyway. Cut your losses, keep your dignity - and WALK.

He's disrespected you. Now it's your turn. Command his respect, just like Pantera sang - RESPECT - WALK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qRVNyot34o

Anonymous said...

They cheat and are the most selfish of all. Generous to make up for their infidelity and temper tantrums. ONLY if you're willing to be 2nd and a servant for the rest of your life should you marry a aries man. You will lose your soul and he will screw around on you. I know one that his wife KILLED herself after 13 years of marriage because he wouldn't let her go. She was only 35.

Anonymous said...

Hi, i was really interested reading this article...Im really hurt with this aries guy who for some odd reason is giving me the silent treatment and not the same sweet guy before..I just had a car accident and he didnt even bother to come and ask me if im okay. I dont want to take revenge or hurt him, but for all the aries men out there, how can i make him feel bad for hurting me this way.

lulu said...

Wow!! I am so shocked to read this, I've been seeing this aries guy who's 37, I'm 23 but mature. I am a Scorpio woman and admit we moved fast in the sack. We dated a few months, communicated daily, mostly through text. He was so sweet with words, he was the one to say I love you to me first but never wanted to make anything official always telling me to let things happen naturally and to enjoy what we had. I always asked him to be straight up with me and let me know if I was just a booty call to him and he would always talk me out of thinking that saying he didn't need to love me to be having sex with me. But something never settled with me. Then after a little more than a month and a half his dad was diagnosed with cancer and since we were just dating i figured he was going through a tough time so I was giving him his space since he said to be patient and that he was really stressed. I Respected that so I didn't text or call, I was waiting for him to approach me when he came to terms with what was going on, after a few days of not hearing from him I texted him and he was very short with his answers but reassured me he wasn't ignoring me but didn't call or text. and I then found out from the mother of his daughter that he brought a girlfriend over just a few days after his dad passing and that it wasn't the first time she was over and all through a mutual friend on fb. I was always good to him, respected him, whatever to please him. The ex said he likes the trophy girlfriends and I know I am really good looking but by no means am I model status but he always told me how beautiful I am and that I was fucken hot. So I'm very confused. I really genuinely cared about him and what he was going through, I feel used and want to confront him but I don't know how. what bothers me the most is how I gave him the chance to keep it real and he did something SoO shady...any suggestions on how to go about it?? Aries men feel free to give your opinions.

meme said...

@lulu i know what your going through because i'm going through a similar situation with a 22 year old aries i told him that i felt like he used me and he says he didn't but i think otherwise i'm not talking to him anymore because i don't think he respects me or cares about me i told him i hated him.

Anonymous said...

Im going through the same thing. We arent dating there is no label to us but i have caught him lieing to me and he doesnt know that i know he was lieing to me. How do i bust him out about this??? Those aries men ate very hard to tell no to.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

For more insight into the Aries male personality, particularly Aries male game playing and manipulation, check out this piece:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/01/experiences-with-aries-male.html.

Now having said that, you have to realize that the sign of Aries is the "baby" of the zodiac. As a result, you're going to encounter a lot of antics with this sign, drama, temper tantrums and bad behavior. Trust me, I have a TON of Aries in my life. Additionally, they can be quite cruel, cold and calculated when need be. So just a bit of a forwarning there.

Now to go to battle with an Aries, you must be prepared because of all mentioned just above. Can you handle the battle? The backlash? If so, move forward. If not, retreat.

The best way to set about to enact revenge on an Aries?

I have a couple suggestions. 1.) Take control - of yourself. Aries loves nothing more than to control situations and people (via manipulation). Take that away fromt them immediately and start calling the shots yourself. It'll irritate them to no end and they may end up blowing up your phone, attempting to hunt you down and regain control. When this happens, you pull back even further - then stand back and watch them blow.

2.) Regarding lies, Aries is cunning. Use this to your advantage if you want to "out" one. Don't go the confrontation route. Casually, during a conversation, drop a snarky remark that relates to you knowing what they did. Just casually mention it. When they question this or go silent, say something to the effect of, "I gotta go, my other lines ringing" and hang up, immediately. When they start blowing up your phone, don't answer. Leaving them with the thought that they were outsmarted by you will eat them alive. The key to doing this properly is to be friendly and even throw in a giggle when saying it. Their head will spin because you didn't like them enough to even be upset over it. Attitude is key here - a snarky, smartass one works best to pull this off properly.

3.) Appeal to their GIGANTIC ego. When they call, stroke that ego and say things you know they want to hear. Do this for 3 or 4 conversations - but don't see them in between. Then disappear - POOF. Don't take anymore calls, don't respond to any texts, just fall off the face of the earth. They'll go nuts.

Now those may sound like very diabolical, devious ways to go about this - and they are. Why? Because that's who you're dealing with here. Never EVER doubt that an Aries, particularly males, are cunning, manipulative and diabolical themselves when the mood strikes them. And what makes this worse is that in their case, it's usually for kicks. They entertain themselves by screwing with peoples heads and emotions when their displaying the signs dark side qualities.

So know this - and go to battle with them using their own weaponry.

The irony in all of this? When you behave like this with an Aries male, 9 times out of 10, they actually RESPECT YOU MORE.

Crazy huh?

Anonymous said...

Hello I need help with the Aries Man that I was, but may still be seeing long story short. When we met we went from 0-60 then back to 0. I like him so I was fine with following his lead I mean on the phone all the time calls/txt messages on facebook etc... We have even spent the night together many times, and he did not try to make a move on me. In fact he said that I was like a girlfriend w/o the title and wants to take it slow so that we really get to know each other, and said he is in no rush to have sex. But wants to see if we are truly compatiable relationship wise. It's been almost a month and I have met different members of his family/friends.Last week he began to act distant, not returning my calls/text. Yet the next time we talked which was 2 days later ( not the norm for us) he said he was real stressed, and was just taking some time for himself. That I understand, so I saw him last week at a fmaily event of his where he introduced me to everyone there but this time I was introduced as his " friend" but just a week before I was introduced as his "BOO/BABY". This struck me so odd what changed in a week. So when I got home I texted him and said I see things are not the same with us, and that I am going to give you some space. No reply to my txt but the next morning he says Good morning. I resent the text back to him, I come back from the bathroom and have 3 missed calls and a text from him. We talked and I told him I feel like you are putting a wedge between us he says he has not idea what he did to make me feel this way. It was a simple call nobody was upset. I like him alot but felt like he needed space will this push him away or make him come back. I am not the one to play games I just felt like he may have been. Can someone help please!!!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Yep, he's playing games of sorts but I doubt he's even really aware of it.

Everything you need to know (and do) to understand what is happening in your situation, you can find here in this piece titled, "The Disappearing Reappearing Man: What To Do."
(http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html)

Anonymous said...

Hello I need help with the Aries Man that I was, but may still be seeing long story short. When we met we went from 0-60 then back to 0. I like him so I was fine with following his lead I mean on the phone all the time calls/txt messages on facebook etc... We have even spent the night together many times, and he did not try to make a move on me. In fact he said that I was like a girlfriend w/o the title and wants to take it slow so that we really get to know each other, and said he is in no rush to have sex. But wants to see if we are truly compatiable relationship wise. It's been almost a month and I have met different members of his family/friends.Last week he began to act distant, not returning my calls/text. Yet the next time we talked which was 2 days later ( not the norm for us) he said he was real stressed, and was just taking some time for himself. That I understand, so I saw him last week at a fmaily event of his where he introduced me to everyone there but this time I was introduced as his " friend" but just a week before I was introduced as his "BOO/BABY". This struck me so odd what changed in a week. So when I got home I texted him and said I see things are not the same with us, and that I am going to give you some space. No reply to my txt but the next morning he says Good morning. I resent the text back to him, I come back from the bathroom and have 3 missed calls and a text from him. We talked and I told him I feel like you are putting a wedge between us he says he has not idea what he did to make me feel this way. It was a simple call nobody was upset. I like him alot but felt like he needed space will this push him away or make him come back. I am not the one to play games I just felt like he may have been. Also a week before I last saw him he texted me "Hey babe, I like you <3 that's the symbol for I love you. Now I am even more confused please help!!!

Anonymous said...

So you dont think he meant the things that he said, why would he go so far to play with me

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
You have to have an understanding of the Aries persona to answer that question. You see, Aries have large egos. They MUST be the center of attention - ALWAYS. And in order to get that ego stroke they so desperately seek, they play games unfortunately. They'll tell you nice things, so you say nice things back. Then, when they get the ego stroke, sometimes it's enough. They feel satisfied and off they go again.

He probably meant them at the time he said them. But Aries are incredibly impulsive and don't think things through. The follow through and finish things they start even less. Aries is a cardinal sign - an "initiator" sign. They start things often and rarely finish them. They are the "babies" of the Zodiac and can be likened to a 7 year old. They'll throw tantrums and pull little stunts when things don't go their way. It's attention seeking behavior. Then when they get your attention, they're gone. They love a chase. Let them know they have you and their bored already.

Did you read the article I referenced? I think you need to gain a better understanding of the games men play. Read the article and it'll all start to make sense. The answers as to why men behave like this are listed here: http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html.

Anonymous said...

ok so you feel that he is playing games do you think that he is interested in me or is now bored and ready to move.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
He may have a genuine interest, but he's wishy washy and uncertain right now. You have a disappearing/reappearing man on your hands. Read that article and do what it says if you want to pique his interest in you. DO NOT contact him, read that piece and you'll understand why. (I can't explain it all here and it's too involved, but the answers are there in that piece.)

Anonymous said...

Ok thanks @ Mirror of Aphrodite I did read it and I, think I may have the ball in my court I want to try to keep it there. I really like him but not even to keep at him it he is not showing interest thanks again :)

Anonymous said...

@ Mirror of Aphrodite Hi, I have a question ok so I did text him, but it was to ask him to cut my son's hair. He didn't reply that day but then texted me Saturday out the blue and asked me to come and get him. I texted back and said huh and he never repiled back WTF is up w/ him. Also he will comment on my Facebook stats but won't talk to me directly lol wtf

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I see how this seems very innocent to you, texting him for something completely unrelated to the two of you as a couple . . but you need to view this from HIS point of view.

He sees through that. To him, that had NOTHING to do with your sons hair and EVERYTHING to do with making up an excuse to see/speak with him, to stay on his radar and keep this going. And because he saw through it, he didn't respond.

Ultimately, it created the "disappear/reappear" scenario. He was non-responsive, suddenly appeared and then POOF, disappeared again.

As much as I hate to say this (but I'm going to because I don't want to see you set yourself up to get hurt here), you're contributing to this cycle through the constant contact.

Everytime you contact him, regardless of the reason, he feels reassured that you're still into him. And because he isn't getting any real long length of time to think on this or to miss you, he's still uncertain. And as long as he's uncertain, he'll be the disappearing/reappearing man.

He's feeling pursued and it's pushing him away and causing him to go all wishy washy.

If you keep initiating communication, he'll keep playing games. He'll remain uncertain and he'll remain wishy washy, he'll never have a chance to miss you or to think and he'll never be motivated to come towards you - because you're coming towards him and he never gets the chance.

That little stunt he pulled on Saturday? That was the equivalent of saying, "Are you still here after I blew you off and ignored your text the other day?" And your immediate response said, "Yes!"

That signals to a man that he doesn't have to treat you better - because you're ok with being ignored. He doesn't have to step it up, you'll still be there even if he ignores you.

As long as you permit that type of treatment, that's what he'll deliver to you. That's the best he'll ever be - because you're not demanding any better for yourself.

So basically, your immediate response said, "Yes! I'm still here" and his reaction to that was, "Ok, cool. I dont' have to do anything then."

Continued . . .

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Continued . . .

You need to disappear. He needs to miss you and realize your value to him. You're not allowing any time to pass with no contact long enough to let that happen.

And if he attempts to contact you, you shouldn't respond. HE NEEDS TO MISS YOU. And if he starts blowing up your phone, you blow him off. You're busy. You need to stay away from this one for 3 to 4 weeks, bare minimum, and give him plenty of space an time to think - and to miss you.

You want him to long for you. Men equate longing for someone with love. You want him to wonder where you're at, who you're with. You want him to wonder why you're not answering his calls and texts. You want to get into his head and make an imprint on his heart. And the only way that will happen is if he misses you and has enough time to realize he has feelings for you.

Everytime you continue to contact him, everytime you immediately respond to his calls and texts . . you will bring this upon yourself. I know it's hard, but you really need to pull back here or you're going to be stuck in this loop of whackness with him forever.

And realize this, I say this for your own good, when he comments on your FB stats and won't speak to you directly - he's avoiding you, honey. When you text and he doesn't respond, he's avoiding you. Then he circles around to see if you're still there after all his ignorant treatment, and you're still there.

So it goes on and on and the whole time, his ego is getting stroked. He's cool because he doesn't have to lift a finger. Whenever he wants you, no matter how he treats you, you're making yourself available. You're contributing to the cycle dear. Please attempt to break it, for your own good. Or you're going to walk right into something here that could be extremely painful on down the line.

Aries absolutely HATE to be pursued. They despise it completely and view it as weakness. They LOVE the CHASE. It's all about the chase with an Aries male. You have to disappear and let him chase you.

Anonymous said...

OK thank you :( I feel like a big time Lame, well I am tagged in pics and tagged at places on facebook should i delete him or does he need to see these things. In the past he has asked about things he saw on my page did i have fun etc So I know he's looking at what I'm doing... Also when he was on my status he was talking directly to me

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Please don't feel bad about yourself. Trust me, you're not the only woman on the planet that's been here. Look at the bright side of things, you're learning and you're growing stronger and you're going to look out for and protect yourself - and those are all good things!

You do nothing on Facebook with regards to deleting him or other things. If you do, he'll see through that and he'll know you're upset and that he got to you. Don't REACT here.

Here's your goal: Take care of yourself, love yourself. Forget about him temporarily. Don't react to anything, don't make any moves. Go on about your life and spend time with friends, your son, your family - and enjoy yourself.

You want him to see you DOING FINE without HIM. Get it? He's expecting for you to react and to get emotional. Don't do that. You want him to think you're independent and having a great time - without him.

It's very attractive to men when they see a woman who holds her own, is confident and could take him or leave him. It piques their interest. You want him to wonder why you're not pursuing him. You want him to wonder why you're not upset over him. You want him to wonder why you don't miss him.

If anything, on Facebook, you post pictures or status updates about how you're having so much fun, meeting so many great people. Updates along the lines of, "Had an absolutely fantastic time last night with a great friend. You know who you are. Thank you!" Let him try to figure out who the hell you're talking about. And then you post pictures of you and your friends having a blast. Post updates referencing how you've just been having a great time. And keep talking about this new, mysterious "friend" that you're just having a blast with. And if anyone asks who this is, you simply say, "A great person I just recently met." And that's it, nothing else.

You want HIM to think about YOU.

So play it cool. And I'm telling you, if you can do this, if you can stand strong and stand up for yourself against him, not only will he see you in an entirely different light - YOU will feel AMAZING about yourself and truly empowered against this in the future.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I thank you so much this advise is the best I know you have heard that before :)it's funny b/c he still likes stats of mine but will not call me or text. I still just wonder if he's ever going to reappear. Well I will get back to you later when/if I have a update thanks again your the BEST :)

Anonymous said...

There are some great post up here, Thak all ou you

Anonymous said...

Hey ladies. All I can say is that in one day after reading the advise listed I HAVE REGAINED MY POWER!!!! LISTEN TO WHAT SHE'S SAYING!!!!! IT WORKS! Do your best to not get sucked back in emotionally (not right away). And don't go asking him a ton of questions especially regarding his feelings-you can slip those in little by little later. Just go with the flow. It will only frustrate him and remind him of why you split in the first place. They like a chase for sure. Dont appear too eager or desperate. And don't give in or be so available. They DO like a little mystery. So give it to him. GET YOUR POWER BACK GIRLS!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a scorpio female 47 and the fella I am seeing is an aries who is 46. We have been "dating" for over two years. That's the term I use because we haven't progressed.

He also has a son who is 13 and an aries as well. Dealing with both of them at times is enough to make you want to shoot yourself or fall off the face of the earth.

I made the mistake of telling him first that I loved him and he told me he loved me but not the same way I loved him. Which was his first mistake. Since then it's him calling me all the time. I never call him unless it is me returning his call. I rarely visit his home because of his son. So if he wants to see me he has to make arrangements with the kids mother.

I decide when I want to talk to him. If he pisses me off I may not talk to him for days, weeks. This drives him crazy because he doesn't know where I am.

Now he compliments me, tells me he loves me all the time. He misses my voice etc. It took me over two years to get to this point. Do I think it's worth it? Damn straight he shouldn't have pissed me off.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Scorpio Female,
I have to agree with you about not calling a man you're dating - especially an Aries because they love to chase. But you bring up a good point because I think when a woman pursues a man that she's dating, it is unappealing to him and it doesn't let him be a man. But I think the biggest downfall of phoning a man for a woman is that she has no way of determining his interest in her. If it's you calling him all the time, how do you ever know he's interested? Letting a man come to you is the absolute BEST way to gauge a man's interest. And early on in a relationship, it's the only way to gauge it. Take that away from yourself an you're left in a sea of confusion, reading into every little thing he says.

Letting him make the advances lets you know where you stand with him. It's an incredibly valuable tool that too many women don't understand the value of. And if he doesn't call you, consider yourself lucky - he wasn't that into you anyway. Why women pursue men who show no interest in them, I will never understand.

Read Scorpio females testament above ladies. That's how you do it. She's not worrying about him, he's worrying about her. And she's not wondering if he likes her or not, when he phones, she KNOWS he does.

Anonymous said...

Hey (Update on The Aries guy) it's me ok so he has contacted me text and on facebook,commenting on pic etc. I want to say something back but I don't know what to say should I reply

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Nope, no reply for at least 5 days with this one. If you come across looking too eager . . . off he'll go, disappearing again.

He's only touching base to see if he still "has you." Once you reply and confirm he does, he'll be gone again.

You need to be scarce for weeks with him. He needs to MISS you. And he won't start to do that until he thinks you're gone.

So you have to appear "gone" and unavailable to him. When he makes about the 3rd attempt (and if you stay gone, he will) . . about 3-5 days later, you respond by saying something like, "Hey what's up? I've been so busy lately, we'll have to catch up someday soon. Have a great day!"

And that's it.

Anonymous said...

ok I didnt say anything back to him on facebook and he went back today and deleted his comments smh. I'm still holding strong, its been almost a month since I have saw/talked to him I still miss him but hey. I havent called or txtd or replied on facebook...

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I think this distance will do you and him some good. I mean, you do what you want, but you're obviously here seeking advice for a reason - he's treating you poorly and deep down you know it, something doesn't feel right.

And to be quite honest, going back and deleting his comments when he didn't get the response he was seeking is really immature. There's a pattern in his behavior here, honey. And it's this:

- Gimmie what I want, when I want it
- Or I'll yank it away from you

His behavior across the board is displaying that pattern here - gimmie what I want when I want it or go away. His disappearing/reappearing, disappearing . . now deleting comments, it's really childish. That's no way to treat people and if he were treated as such by you, I don't think he'd stick around at all.

The more distance you keep, the more you'll begin to see him for who he is. And to be quite honest . . . you just may discover that he wasn't the man you were dreaming he was . . . and you may not even like him anymore.

His behavior isn't attractive, nor is his treatment of you. These are obviously HIS problems as he's displaying through his behavior. You might want to ask yourself if he's even worth it. A guy like that, emotionally immature and selfish - they don't make good boyfriends and husbands.

Stay strong and observe.

Anonymous said...

Right I thought it was lame of him to go back and delete his "own" comments. It's funny now that I have time apart from him I don't like him as much, but I still miss him. Yes I do want your advise and thankfully I have been strong and smart enough to take your advie it's all good. I am a great Woman and one day my time will come thanks again!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow
I am a Aries male. Geez I am not the traits you describe here. I do have a ego but can laugh at myself. I liked to be chased. I care about others. I am loyal. I never cheated on my ex of 9 years.
I am quick to fight but when I am confronted. I protect weaker people. I am generous and very extroverted.
If you want revenge-just blow him off. Living well is the ultimate revenge.
I feel zodiacs are a good guideline but not every person follows this to a t. Most Aries I meet I don't get along with because of the arrogance and the "I am greater then all". I do get our traits. Take each individual case by case.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Aries Male,
Thanks for contributing your thoughts here. It's nice to see an Aries male show up here. No, not all sun signs will cover each individual to a T. Other factors come into play, such as Moon, Mercury and Venus placements - other planetary placements can create different behaviors and responses.

Funny to hear an Aries male admit he likes to be chased. I've recently met two others that seem to be that way as well, both were Venus in Pisces (end of March birth dates).

And it's funny to hear you say you don't get along with other Aries because of their ego. That's what usually turns me off to them as well. But I have also seen a couple of Aries men who don't really like each other, compete with each other, trying to outdo one another, like there's no tomorrow. It was kinda funny to witness LOL.

But you said it, blow them off. Living well is the ultimate revenge.

I'd be interested in your thoughts on this piece here:
http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/01/experiences-with-aries-male.html

Anonymous said...

I'm an Aries female and I do not understand why you're all so hung up about the revenge. If an Aries does you wrong, then s/he will certainly apologise. We're tender, protective and extremely altruistic creatures, at least I am. If it was your fault, then you deserve our anger. If it was our fault, then you have the very right to kick us in the touche! We live our lives by the well known 'eye for an eye'. Basically, if someone can dish it out, they can take it, too, including ourselves. I'm not jealous if someone has a better life or has won a competition. I recognize the fact that there are plenty of people who are better, more intelligent, more pioneering than myself. I won't hate them, I will aspire to them. They will become my mentors. I will only fight when confronted or threatened, other than that, I will possibly ignore and then try to forgive. I'm a loyal and caring person and believe that the article above is an absolute miss re description of an Arian personality. I guess it describes Aries people who are extremely insecure and have a very low self-esteem. My other placements are: Leo Rising, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Mars, Pisces Venus and Aries Mercury.

Anonymous said...

WOW....I cannot believe how you described my Arien "frenemy" to a T! I am a Taurus female and I met this Aries lady through my boyfriend, we became friends or so I thought for a while.

She is married to my boyfriend's best friend. Anyways, when her and I first met she was constantly CONSTANTLY telling me how she used to have this huge crush on my boyfriend and blah blah blah (he chose some other female at the time and wasn't interested). Then later tried to convince him to dump me. This girl pretends to be my friend but has to one up me at EVERY TURN. She is a stay at home mom, three kids, 26 and rather chunky. I have a career, no kids, work out regularly and am very healthy. I honestly think this girl wants to see me taken down a notch....like telling me I need to get pregnant ASAP (I do not want kids and will never get pregnant) before I get too old, and she states that she wants to see me fat. My BF has two amazing kids who I have taken on a motherly role (their real mom walked out on them years ago) so I decided not to get pregnant. BF and I don't live together and really have a great relationship where we have our own space. When she found out BF and I were going to Jamaica this September she was fuming cause she can't get the time or money for a trip. Now she always tells me how when her own kids are grown she will be the one taking trips to Jamaica while I'm fat and pregnant and at home. Like really, little needling remarks and desparate to get under my skin. She shows us her husbands $20,000 monthly paychecks and flaunts her expensive jewelry like we all care. I really think she wants to see me taken down.

One time my BF's best friends dad was hosting a huge retirement party. She got pissed at my BF for giving her attitude, and she was in charge of party invites. So she threw his invitation in the garbage without saying anything, pretended otherwise, and we didn't go.

She also has this really freakish way of planting comments and manipulative remarks in your head to cause fights between me and my BF. She pretended to be my venting shoulder to cry on just so she could hear everything going on in our relationship. One day, me and BF actually broke up and her first remark to me was, 'OK...did you make sure he knows you two are completely over and there is no longer a relationship?' Like she wanted the relationship to be over. Red flags started going off in my head about this girl and I flipped 180, worked out things with my BF, and now tell her NOTHING. NOTHING. She will never know my personal affairs cause that remark rubbed me really wrong. Everyone in my BF's family loves me, says I'm the best thing to happen to him, that I am put together, a good woman with a career who has her shit together. Yet this girl, somehow wants me to disappear. She has an ulterior motive for EVERYTHING.

Anonymous said...

CONTINUED....

So one day I stopped texting or calling (she used to keep me on the phone for friggin hours to either brag incessantly, stir up drama, or make needling remarks at me.) and kept a friendly face whenever I saw her. My excuses were I was busy....during the month of May is my mother's death anniversary, I used that as an excuse. June I had surgery so felt too sick and in pain to talk. Slowly over these months, her texts and calls dissipated. My life is so much better now without her freaking drama!! I have continued to keep my distance from her but remain friendly, leaving her with NOTHING to use against me (this girl is vindictive as hell and will stoop to low levels to belittle or get back at someone).

So she went to my BF to bitch about why I don't call or text her. She told him I was being bitchy to her at some party (TOTALLY UNTRUE....she was bitchy to ME and I assumed cause she was in a bad mood!!) and complained that I never tell her anything anymore and been distant.

Anyways, I will continue to ignore her and not let anything bother me about her. I am at the point where I truly do not care....I don't hate her, I don't like her, I am just completely indifferent to her and that is the only thing this Arien bitch responds to. As the saying goes, "Revenge is best served cold."

I think she assumed as a peace-keeping Taurus that I was a doormat and would take her crap but when I get to a certain point, I am DONE. I have no regrets about my decision, and have learned my lessons.

Anyways, have been wanting to ask you....this girl is vindictive and will try to find a way to get back at me or say something very very nasty to embarrass me in front of people. I wouldn't put it past her. I see her doing something underhanded or low. My questions are....

-How do I react, or do I react even if she makes a low blow?

-How do I respond when (and she will) confronts me on why I have kept distant from her?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
This is a story I can personally identify with as I found myself in a very similiar situation with an Aries female. One of the final straws for me was the day she actually told me she was jealous. When someone feels that way about you, nothing good is going to come of that.

Here's the deal, the low blows are gonna come and the confrontation is going to come, too. So expect that to happen. The Aries "warrior" spirit lives for such instances and their ruling planet, Mars, The God of War, won't have it any other way.

But you see, there's another form of strength that the Aries underestimate - and that is the composed strength of The Bull, Taurus. You can try to push a bull, you can try to pull a bull, but you can't make a bull do anything it doesn't want to do - and it has the strength to stand it's ground.

My point is, there is strength in silence. There is strength in knowing when to strike. A bull doesn't impulsively strike like an Aries, swinging into the wind. A bull turns to face it's opponent, with heels dug in and head down before it charges. A bull is deliberate and contained strength.

In this instance, the Aries is looking for a confrontation. She's been trying to push your buttons for quite some time now. She wants to see you come unraveled so she can point out your flaws and shortcomings to others and giggle about it when you do.

That would please her very much. So what you need to do here is . . not react to anything she does or says. It's hard, I know. But the Aries will make an ass of herself by continually trying to push for a battle. If you do not react, that will put a spotlight on HER shortcomings for others to see.

Your strength here is in your ability to maintain control, to not let her unravel you and to not let your emotions control you. This will perplex her and drive her mad. When an Aries is gunning for a battle and the opponent is nonresponsive, it sends them reeling. As a result, it will be her that comes unraveled in front of others.

If she makes a low blow, I think I'd respond very calmly with something to the effect of mysterious silence combined with laughing at her. If she lets the comment fly, I'd turn to face her (face your opponent), look her dead in the eye (signal to her that you know what she's about), hold the gaze in an awkward 3-4 second silence (in a confrontational manner, as if you're debating a charge) . . and then get a birk smirk on my face (inciting humiliation and embarassment in her), shake my head in disbelief (signaling to her and others that she's not worth it) . . and walk away (strength in silence, she can't unravel you).

Cont . .

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Cont . . .

She'll be blown away and she'll feel like an ass.

If she confronts you about why you've been distant, this is one I may touch upon with her, but again, in a manner of silent strength. I might say something cryptic and mysterious that maybe even flies over her head, that she doesn't get - but others may. If she says, "Why have you been distant?" I might respond with something like, "Because I don't like feeding sharks."

And then I'd look her in the eye, smile and walk away. If she has a brain, she'll understand that the term "feeding the sharks" refers to people who smell blood in the water (rumors, gossip, etc.) and rather than empathize, they attack the bleeding opponent. She's the shark, she thinks you're bleeding from her barrage of negative quips and comments. Show her that you're aware of what she's doing, but she's not worth engaging in battle.

And no matter how hard she pushes, that's all you say. If she says, "What does that mean?" You respond, "Figure it out." If she again pushes for why you've been distant, you're response is, "I've already told you, I don't like feeding sharks."

That's it. That's all you say, nothing more. And you smile and smirk, as if you're laughing silently at her, and you stay composed and calm.

Chances are that will drive her mad and it will also signal to her that you are, indeed, more of an opponent than she had sized you up as. She thinks it's going to be easy to topple a gentle bull, but you show her that the bulls strength goes well beyond the rams. The fact that you won't engage her in battle and that you appear smarter, more saavy than her - will drive her nuts because she's used to getting under peoples skin and unraveling them in front of others for her entertainment.

I always picture it like this. The ram and the bull are in the field grazing. The ram takes issue with the bull and charges the bull. The bull stands, steadfast, head down and smiling, while the little ram bangs, bangs, bangs their head into the bull. The bull remains, strong and unmoved, until the little ram tires himself out in front of all the other bulls and rams in the field, and eventually accepts defeat and humiliation upon realization that the bull will not fall and his efforts are wasted ;-)

Anonymous said...

Mirror, thanks so much for your reply to my (July 23rd) post. I swear everything you said is on point. She has a hidden agenda for everything and I cannot be bothered.

Now I have one more question.

She gets angry when people don't attend her family's birthday parties. The last one (before I made the move to delete her from my life) I said I wasn't gonna go and she got pissed and bitchy with me, so I caved and went.

There is another one coming up. How do I back out of this in a slick way without giving her any reason to be mad? Say I was sick? I don't wanna go, but thinking of saying I will go and then the day of the event just say I had an appt. Needs to be a good one for her, lol.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Hmm, this one's a little difficult because I don't know your lifestyle and I don't know what would be believable by her regarding it.

More importantly here though, this girl is a bully. When someone tries to bully me, they get NO explanation. I can't make it, I don't have to answer to you and that's that. I had more pressing issues that are none of your business.

When you answer to a bully, the bullying and expectations only become worse because this empowers their idea that they are "in charge" when people answer to them and explain themselves to them.

But that aside, a couple of options would be:

1.) YOU have a family celebration to go to. (This signals to her that SHE is not more important than YOUR family.)

2.) You forgot, but you already obligated yourself to an invitation from someone else that night. (If she bullies you on that one, I'd say, "I'm sorry, but I keep my commitments." Again, signaling to her that SHE is not the most important thing on the planet and this also signals to her that YOU don't care what she thinks.)

3.) You're traveling that weekend or that day and will be out of town.

4.) A family member is moving and you obligated yourself to assist.

Notice that all of the above signal to her that there are more important things in life than her and her family ;-)

That's the route I'd take with her. Eventually, you're going to have to take a stance her with her. Take your stance but don't explain yourself, don't answer to her, don't cave with her and don't engage her in battle. Because that signals to her that SHE is important and in control. No is all she really needs to hear from you. She's not your keeper and you don't have to answer to her. You're your own person and you have free will.

If she gets angry, bitchy or starts to bully, just stand there (always smiling) and let her go off and act the fool. And if she pushes, say, "Hey, that's just the way it is. If you don't like that, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. You don't have to talk to me anymore if it's that much of an issue for you."

And YOU turn the tables on HER. Remind HER that she has free will too - and can use it to end the relationship if she chooses. And that will signal to her that you don't CARE about the relationship.

She may snap out of it and kiss your ass after that one if she realizes you don't give a crap. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Wow this is what i have to deal with...Aries man,Scorpio woman. Been dating only 3 months and already he's playing games. One day he'll bombard me with calls/texts only to ignore me a few days later for no reason. When he did finally make contact which was anything between 2 days to a week i would forgive and go back but not now!! The tables are now turned and i'm playing him at his own game ;) After 2 weeks of silent treatment from him am now getting constant texts and calls which i'm ignoring and will continue to do so..for a few weeks anyway :D

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Always mirror a man's behavior towards you to hold your own in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

Your tactics have somewhat of a 'kill em with kindness' effect to it. Not to say you kiss your enemies ass, but pleasantry and kindness with an arian enemy..... when they expect and WANT retaliation and war..... makes them feel guilty, question themselves and embarrasses them.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
You got it. Aries can be cruel and cutting to others even when it's not their intention.

Engage an Aries in battle and they may shred you without blinking an eye. Come at them with this tactic - and you're sure to gain the upper hand by making them THINK about their actions towards others for once.

And it's only then, when they've been humbled, that you can attempt a reconciliation and they finally will hear you and possibly even empathize with your position.

Anonymous said...

For an Aries it all has to be about them. They think it's an Aries' world and we just live in it.

They are inconsiderate. Won't remember that you even have a birthday. Best way to piss them off is to tell you that they forgot your birthday.

They won't call you, even if you are in need like you are sick, they will call the first day and that's it.

My sister is an Aries and I am done with her. She is selfish to me and to my father. (They never accept blame any time you tell them what they did wrong all they say is "oh please"). To me she is just an expense to give her and her kids birthday and Christmas presents without even a thank you in return.

I had a friend who is also an Aries. He's not a bad person, I mean he doesn't know that he's being inconsiderate. We had a disagreement. Well actually he disrespected me with a wrong assumption. I told him he is delusional and I was insulted by the accusation. By text of course because he won't talk face to face.

So now he shut me out and that's fine because now I am mad at him for acting like a 7 year old. I even said we were both wrong and I apologized about something else on my part. He didn't admit he was also wrong and would not take any blame. So now he just has a temper tantrum and won't talk.

It's too bad because he will never find a friend as good and as caring as I was.

Lovin my Aries Man said...

Funny cause I read all these comments. Okay so I have an Aries man. When I say I have been thru hell and back with him. Im a capricorn so yes I can be just as stubburn for 2 can play that game. We have been together on and off for a decade. I have 2 kids with one being his and he has 5 not including mine. The reason im even reading this is because we recently started communicating again and he asked me to read up on our signs and that it was us. So now im here. I do love his funky drawls for we have been thru alot. My baby loves her father but the more I defy him the more he neglects her, Which is cool I got her, so yes im finally being submissive again, and hes been coming to visit our child. He normally wont come around me but the other day he came in to use my bath, stayed in there for about 30 minutes. And when he came out I was waiting arms open. We hugged for a minute I kissed him but no return kiss. We've been texting and talking about our signs for the last few days, and it feels like im falling in love all over again. Then last night I texted him no response. Not that im worried cause hes gonna get his baby today so he hasnt disappeared again yet. Me being a capricorn you know that I want more than anything to have him back as my head of household and apart of my family. I never cheated but he cheated a million times. But believe me I have always did something to make me feel better. I dont play. Now ive been kinda throwing myself at him thru text, but his response is we will just be arguing again in a week. I dont wanna argue, Im ready to make up, put the past in the past, and start new. We know each other in and out and I know hes scared of my rath. But how do I gain his trust back? How do we move on together instead of apart? Meeting another man is dumb easy for me, but giving my heart and letting someone in is hard, because no matter what we go thru I already gave it to him. Now that we talking if he finds out about me being around another man he WILL, pull some reverse phycology and disappear again. He really thinks he own me, but not in a negative way, like a if you aint with me you aint with anyone. Whats your advice for me, keep trying or keep running.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Lovin My Aries Man,
Hmm, I dunno about this one. Did you read this post here:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/01/experiences-with-aries-male.html

Aries games bore me, I'm a Taurus and I can't tolerate the drama they insist on. However, there are signs that love that about them and can appreciate their dramatic flair.

But I question this one because he sounds like a player - he's cheated on you a million times you said. If he's done that in the past, he'll do it again. Why do you want that for yourself and why would you want that atmosphere in your home, around your child? Why settle for crap treatment? That won't make you happy in the long run and it won't be good for your child to be around. They'll grow up thinking that's how men and women behave with on another. They'll think that's a normal relationship when it's anything but normal. And he also sounds childish and immature if he lets your relationship with him affect whether or not he sees his child.

I'd think about this a bit harder if I were you before making a final decision. And just as an aside, Aries men hate to be pursued. They're ruled by Mars, The God of War (hence their love of going to battle) and they're a Fire sign (Fire = Intensity), they love a good chase, it excites them (even though once they get what they've been chasing, they move on to conquering all over again). They're also the first sign in the Zodiac, the "baby's" of the Zodiac if you will, and are associated with the age range of 0 to 7. So they tend to act immature and throw tantrums like a 7 year old lots of times.

You're a Capricorn, that's an Earth sign, like me (I'm Taurus). In astrology, Fire scorches Earth. Do you really wanna be scorched again?

Maybe think on this on a bit. Ultimately, however, the final decision is yours.

TO said...

Agree 100% with Frank, as another Aries male.

We usually disappear into void and you will never hear from us again. Please let us be. If you want to bring a revenge war, you may win a battle or two, but we will win the war, it's in our nature, remember?

Lovin my Aries Man said...

Awwww I hope each time he has grown. He has became apart of my life that I miss often. I once was childish so I try not to judge his childish ways. As far as in my home I didnt have her to raise alone. When we on good terms he definitely makes an effort to be a good man. Because he cheats doesnt mean hes not a great father or head of house hold, and yes we may have a blow out and not be talking, but hes throwing those 7 year old tandrums to get my attention behind closed doors, because he loves me. I give in because WE, his family starts missing him. Something that he rarly has time for if im not involved, due to his carefree way of life. I agree fully with you 100%. Fire scorches the earth, and he has been nothing but pure evil, due to immaturity. Do they ever grow up? Im closer to 30 hes closer to 40. He definitely holds my heart, but I dont think this earthy girl will not be going back that route. I so look forward to showing him this conversation. Right now we in our friend zone again. All I can say is I hope we can remain just friends.

Lovin my Aries Man said...

@TO I always win the revenge wars, for hes fighting a battle within his self. If winning is avoidance. Then whats your prize?

Lovin my Aries Man said...

And you are so right he definitely has that his and only his attitude toward me. He dont wanna be with me but he be damed if im with someone else. So my problem becomes how do you move on when you have a fisty drama starter, sneaking around your front door stirring up drama??????

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Lovin My Aries Man,
"How do you move on when you have a fisty drama starter, sneaking around your front door stirring up drama??????"

LOL . . ignore him and his selfish drama (it's his problem to learn how to deal with you claiming a life of your own and moving on, not yours), stay strong and carry on with your life.

If nothing else, his childish little fits can be entertaining, hehe ;-)

Lovin my Aries Man said...

Thanks... I feel like you know him and dont even know him. Awesome read for the last few days, but im done researching this Aries man. Thanks for your help:)

Anonymous said...

Got one makes me mad ;)

Anonymous said...

Wow you made my day ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm completely heartbroken. I'm a Sagittarius girl and have been in a relationship with Aries since 2009. We Both were in relationships but were interested in each other. After a few months of texting I broke up with my boyfriend of 3-4 years and almost expected Aries to immediately dump his dumb broad. Well he told me that he wasn't sure if I was the loyal kind and that he didn't have a reason to break up with the libra girl. I was crushed even then. He eventually did leave her. And we started dating of course I hate his rage and his selfish ways but I also love his affection and humor. Recently I went through his phone when he was asleep and found text from his ex of 3 year ago. Imagine my horror I woke him up and slapped him so hard asked him wtf was going on I snapped his phone in half and took our dog and left. I've never been so angry and shaky in my life. Hes kept calling and texting me lately and when I asked him he sai he didn't know why he text her back and that she obsessed and delirious

Anonymous said...

GIRL EVERYTHING THAT'S SAID IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT TO THE TEE, GIRL ABOUT MY ARIES MAN! HE IS A 2ND DECAN ARIES AND I AM 1ST DECAN LIBRA AND HE IS THE DISAPPEARING MAN 8 YRS & VANISHED TWICE. HE PLAYS THE GAMED, THROWS TANTRUMS, HIS A KNOWN MAN WHORE SEEKING THE TROPHY GIRL, LOVES DRAMA AND COMPETITION AND WAR! NOW DURING THIS 2ND VANISHING ACT HE RAN INTO A 1ST DECAN LEO FEMALE THAT'S A PSYCHO, THRISTY BITCH!! WHEN I SAY IT'S NOTHING BIT DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA, COMPETITION, WAR, CHALLENGES!! NOW SHE IS TYPICAL BIG BOOTY REDBONE BUT WITH MANY, MANY, MANY FLAWS, BUT YOU CANT TELL HER SHE AINT FINE, SHE INSECURE BULLY THAT'S FAKE AND HIDES BEHIND THAT SHIT TALK BUT SCARY AS HELL. ITS LIKE HE USES HER TO GET ME TO RESPOND SINCE OUR BREAKUP, BUT IM CHOCOLATE SEXY CHICK WITH MUCH CONFIDENCE AND SHE CAN'T BREAK ME. SO ITS ALMOST AS THE BOTH OF THEM IS OBSESSED WITH ME IF THEY HEAR FROM ME EITHER OF THEM WILL CALL ME ABOUT OUR KIDS IN WHICH HE USES THEM TO GET ME AND SHE HATES THAT, I MISS HIM AND WANT HIM BACK BUT B4 MAKING HIM KNOW THAT HE WAS WRONH FOR HE DID HIS FAMILY FOR THIS BROAD, ALL THEY DO FIGHT MOSTLY ANPUT EVEN WHEN IM NOT IN THE PICTURE AND IT EVEN GOTTEN ABUSIVE PHYSICALLY THAT SHE HAS DV CHARGES ON HIM NOW BUT SHE LET COME BACK AFTER PUTTING HIM IN JAIL FOR 1 YR! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WANTED TO COME BACK TO ME WHEN GOT OUT CUZ WE WASN'T SPEAKING WHEN IN JAIL SO HE WENT HER VERY STUPIDLY CUZ SHE'S GOING TO BURN HIM AGAIN BUT HE CHEATED ON ME WITH HER, KARMA RIGHT BUT WE DONT FIGHT, WE HAVE THIS BEST FRIENDS /HUSBAND,WIFE /SISTER, BROTHER RELATIONSHIP WTH LOTS, LOTS LOTS LOTS, OF SEX 6 KIDS, MISCARRIAGES IN 8 YRS, YES YOU KNOW OUR TITLE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP IN THE BEGINNING! HE WON'T LET GO TOTALLY AND DON'T TOO EITHER BUT LEO BITCH IS IN THE WAY NOW!! I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE ON THIS ONE BECAUSE HE HURT ME TO THE CURE AND THINK I SHOULD LET GO & MOVE ON BUT HE WANTS A WAR & COMPETITION & I CAN GIVE HIM ONE A GOOD ONE THAT WILL WIPE OUT OUT 4 GOOD, NO TIC 4 TAC WIT ME, GO HARD WHEN I COMPETE ALL OR NOTHING, SO DON'T THINK THEY ME TO STEP MY GAME UP CUZ IT BE VERY UGLY IN THE FOR & HIM U DIG! BUT I WANT HIM TO CHASE ME TO CHASE ME EVEB WHEN SHE AROUND CUZ HE CAN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER SO HE CAN DISRESPECT HER I DON'T CARE CUZ SHE DID IT ME WITH OUR KIDS SO SHE DIRTY ANYWAY BUT I WANT TO MISS ME AND WONDER ABOUT ME AND THE KIDS AND HUNT FOR ME! BE MAD, WORRIED, CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED, CRAZY, IN LOVE, STRESSED, HAPPY, YEARNING, EMOTIONAL, ABOUT ME IN ALL ON WOP! U REALLY NEED YOUR. ADVICE BOO PLEASE, I GOT TO MAKE HIM FEEL IT, HE CALLED ON MY BIRTHDAY ON HER PHONE, I WONDER Y SHE LET HIM DO THAT CUZ SHE WAS RIGHT THERE. I TRY TO FALL BACK BUT HE WON'T LET ME, SO WHAT YOU THINK BOO! I STILL LOVE HIM BUT HE STILL THINKS HE GOT ME WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER ND SHE THINKS SHE GOT HIM WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, I SEE SHE TRYING TO BE LIKE ME, TALK LIKE ME, SHE EVEN GOT THE SAME REPLICA SUV AS ME, SHE GOT A BABY THAT POSE TI BE HIS AND DRESSES THAT CHILD UP LIKEI DO MY KIDS, SHE EVEN DID BACKGROUND CHECK ON ME AND GOT MY PERSONAL INFO AND TEXT ME IN SSN WHEN WETE ARGUING WHEN WAS IN JAIL! I WANT REVENGE ON THE BOTH OF THE SO I NEED YOUR ADVISE DESPERATELY APHRODITE!!! HOW TO BACK AT THEM BOTH BUT I WANT HIM IN THE END TO GET HIM REALLY GOOD CUZ HE'S DONE MORE THEN THIS LAST VANISH/ CHEATING ACT!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Revenge on an Aries is simple - ignore him. Ignore them both. Leave them to their own demise and give their situation time to blow up in their faces.

He does this to get a response from you. If you keep giving it to him, he'll keep acting up. It's when you don't care that he'll take notice.

Anonymous said...

Oh thank you and I will and keep you posted on it!! I read your other post and they great and I feel better and confident about myself, thank you!!

Anonymous said...

@mirror/ anyone, I am a 34yrs old Taurus & dealing with a 40 yr old Aries I understand all you all have said. I have had this man BACK!! I cooked for him, showed up at his job several times unknown with his dinner, I gave to him; when ever he needed, always stroke his ego, gave him massages, etc.. ALMOST anything you name. I did everything he made his time available for. I gave to him what he like & things I new he wasnt use to. I did it all because thats the way I fell a man should be treated. He told me one day that he just couldn't hold it any longer ( he said he never meet a woman like me before and he know its nobody but God). Hes a man from being raise without a dad, in the city & in the hood, got a good job & make GOOD MONEY. Im a lady raised outside the city limits haven't been but in may relations, raised by my mom & dad who has been together 48yrs with 9 siblings. I have a good job also and take care of myself. A woman with no kids ;he has 4. I'm beautiful; have alot going for myself; carry myself to the highest; i love nice things; Work hard for my own. Anyway, he has seen that no matter how mad I get (it want last me but a day) how he hurt, lie to me, play games with me I am there when EVER HE CALL. So now he total ignores my call. When I see him I'm so happy that I can't be mad! I never question him, don't argue or anything. He ALWAYS LIE TO ME, about the smallest thing. Almost ever time i ask for something or him to do something he always say yes or ok. But never do it & want answer my calls or call back (even the simplest thing); I live alone & every other day he call after work (he get off at midnight)& talk for minute or say he's coming over but never come. I always answer & away get ready to see him. He ALWAYS stand me up for no reason, I'm like I didn't ask for that?!?! So, I have been around his family & they like me a lot. He's an only child. His cousin has gotten close to me & he and her are VERY close. She call me a lot & I have watched sometimes he put her up to see what im doing, he never even take me out or anything& he KNOWS im not seeing anyone else. SO, he deliver to my job 1or 2times a week. With that being, how do I get him to realize what he has (because I love him? What do I do when he come to my job (he hardly ever call anymore unless he need me or see what I'm up to) I call, call, call him he want answer even when I know he is not busy?!? We haven't /been doing "it" in like a month or so. How do I treat his cousin/ his family? I have not call him, text, etc. (which has been hard) In 4days (he haven't called me either). What shall I do??

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Taurus,
What should you do? Read this article, it tells you what to do:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

Anonymous said...

@mirror, How do I treat his Cuz, whom I talk to almost everyday? An when I face him on my job how do I treat him?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
You don't treat him any different. He's not involved. But . . on the same token, he has no business being involved. In otherwords, you tell him nothing - because chances are he's digging.

You talk about the weather and mundane things. You don't share details, feelings, thoughts or emotions. Or it'll only be used as ammo against you.

Anonymous said...

@ mirror No, the Guy I'm dating comes to my job every week to pick up for his job. Which I can schedule myself to be gone on the day & time he comes for the next two weeks. An his Cuz (a girl), I have became REAL close to her and we talk everyday, several times we hang out together, etc.. Which I have. MANY MANY reasons to believe that he have her calling me to see what I am doing and have her keeping up with me. He made may mistakes that I notice & told on himself. Example: I took off to go to a big party in my home town. She call me when the party first started & ask me were was the party held at & etc.. Well he call me about HR. Later & ask what I was doing. I told him at this party but he replied to me and said "where u at the red room down there?" I new that she had call me earlier for him. When we hang out I ALWAYS see guys I know from my job & we stop & hug or talk etc.. she be looking & a lot of times have this smurk on her face. She also watch my EVER move when we out. When guys try to talk to me & when my phone rings or I get texts etc..she sometimes have even ask who it was calling. Although he is really the only guy I deal with, he knows that guys try to talk to me. But he feels I'm not going any where. So do you think I should make it where I am not there when he come to my job? If not how do I act & what do I say when he ask where I been & why he haven't heard from me? How do I treat her when she calls or want me to go places with her?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Yep, disappear on him when he comes in. If he asks where you've been, you answer vaguely "around" . . "busy" . . "out with friends." You tell him nothing more than that. You're not married, he's not your boyfriend. You DO NOT have to ANSWER to him. Period.

Same with her, keep it short, don't share details and don't ask questions. If she begins to pry, push it back on her and make her feel stupid for being a spy by asking HER, "why do you want to know?" "Why is it so important for you to know where I'm at all the time?" Tell her you busy, you have already made plans when she asks you out. When she says, "with who" you say "friends." If she gets bold and says, "what friends" that's when you hit her with "why do you wanna know?"

You can also snuff her out as the mole. Purposely lie to her and give her some misinformation. Tell her you've recently met a great guy named Brent. Gush about him to her.

Then when he starts asking about Brett - you'll definitely know this girl is not really a friend to you. Friends don't spy like that or back stab like that. If I were you, I'd distance myself from her big time.

She is not your friend and eventually, she WILL betray you.

Anonymous said...

Ok so I need anwsers on this situation, I have been dealing with an aries on and off for almost two years. At first it was just a FWB relationship and he said he didnt care about me in a serious way, until I got serious with another guy and began a real relationship with them. I recently met up with him and everything went downhill, he tried to have sex with me so bad that he went a little crazy, I had to bite him to get off of me. I ran to the bathroom, ask him to leave, but upon him doing that he throws my clothes outside. My question to you guys is, why is he doing this after 2 years? Is he really going insane?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous FWB Situation,
He's doing this because he can't control you, so he's attempting to TAKE control of you.

I'd ran fast and far from this one . .

Anonymous said...

@Aphtodite, by the way he also tried the thing with the FB msgs but not responding back to my reply, he has basically done everything that everyone is saying up there. I at least wanted to be friends but is that asking too much? Are we in too deep?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
He sounds like a lost cause. Many Aries, not all but many, have a very "my way or the highway" attitude towards others. When it's like that, it's pointless. Your options are to 1.) eat the crap he dishes out or 2.) leave and save yourself the trouble.

But regardless of his sign . . do you even realize how disrespectfully he's treated you? You may want to ask yourself why it's so important for a man of his character to like and accept you.

1. You had to bite him to fend off a rape
2. Afterwards, he threw your clothes out the door (like you were a paid whore that he was throwing out of the room)

Why on earth would you ever want a friendship or ANY contact of ANY kind with a man like that? That's probably just the tip of the iceberg regarding what he's truly capable of.

You need to love yourself enough to get the hell away from him.

If a guy EVER did that to me, his gonads would've been in such a tight vice grip, I'd have heard octaves coming out of his mouth never before heard. And if he treated me like a whore and threw my clothes out the door afteward, being a Taurus, I'd have seen red. Horns out, head down - charge. I hate to say this, but I most likely would've attacked him in defense.

And then let him explain the scratches, bruises and black eyes to his family and friends.

He's dangerous. These are behaviorial red flags he's waving right in your face - and you're not seeing them. He's very dangerous. He could've raped you, knocked out some teeth, broke your jaw and then dumped you naked in a ditch.

And you're wondering how you can be his friend? I don't understand that, I'm sorry.

He's dangerous. I can't say it enough. Run.

Anonymous said...

@Aphrodite, thanks for the information. I needed to here this from someone who knows here stuff about aries men. Obviously he has alot of issues that cant be fixed by me. He has done alot of good and alot of bad to me, and right now the bad is obviously outweighting the good. Its time for me to run away from this situation. So how can I get him to stop contacting me? Ignoring does not work.

Anonymous said...

Aries men play mind games is all I know....but I'm a Scorpio so I knew exactly how to take control....just a polite text explaining how he was wrong...then I'm done talking to you..deleted his number and kept it moving....I dont care if I hurt him but I know I stung him a lil with my scorpion tail lol either way I feel great

Anonymous said...

Taurus female, recently dumped by aries male. Well we were together for 4 years lived together for 3 and he out of the blue he said he needed space and to be single, too much to write, but he didn't give us a fair chance or open up about why he feels this way. So its been about 3 weeks since I lived with him all my stuff is out his house. Judging by his fb he wanted to be single to have a lot of "female" friends, I asked if he is dating anyone he says no and that he's not even sleeping with another girl. Yet he wants to be friends and he has been contacting me everyday, but he's a liar and a big flirt so I don't believe him. He's confused, he kept my pictures up and told me recently he was upset that I ripped up the notes we wrote each other that those were his memories. I said sorry but I thought he knew I did that when he first dumped me & told me to move out. I still love him and miss the sweet guy. He's become cold and wishy washy. But he loves attention!!! He loves to be chased and feel needed, yet wants space. He needs reassurance. We share cats but he has to keep them, at first he said I can see them anytime I want & was leaving the key for me, then he says I can't see them as much, now his new rule is I can only see them when he is at home, because he feels comfortable being there while I visit the cats, & didn't explain why. These past 2 days he's been reaching out to me but cut back a lot, and that happened after I ignored his text, so I feel like he's upset that I ignored him and now is slowly giving me attention first. My ex aries is the type to leave and move on to someone new, but I want to be with him, and know that if I ignore him for a while he'll run to another girl, he craves female attention and is very attractive so its not hard for him to find someone else to fill hid void of being single, lonely. He claims he's not ready, but he's lied before over girls liking him. I want the part of him that was honest, loving, etc...I don't know this new part of him he's showing, its scary because I feel myself being turned off and the way he's controlling this situation is making me question everything he's doing. I need a mental vacation from him, but like I said he's the type who will use being ignored as a way to move on and try to get me back. When I don't stroke his ego or respond much later than usual he'll become cold toward me, and everyone keeps telling me to ignore him so he won't control this breakup but when I don't give into him or tell him what he wants to hear, he creates distance or do something like change the cat visitation. But maybe he's seeing someone and that's why he's starting to slowly back off and not reach out to me. All I keep doing is questioning his motives because he can't or won't give me a straight answer. And now I have to see him when I see the cats, he wanted space so instead of me seeing them while he's at work like before, I have to be supervised...its confusing...but my love and desire to get back with him isn't as strong in this moment, the way he's been acting this week. I don't want to let go, but I know I'll have to eventually specially since I can't see my cats without him in my face...he's my first love, relationship so its hard to accept this new behavior. I want the old persona back, and I'm clinging on to that side of him. I think I'll just stop posting online and stay of social media sites so that way he won't see my updates or status, because right now we're friends on everything. But I think if I disappear from that and not initiate any contact by text or email maybe that will get him to miss me because he won't know that I'm out with friends or see new pictures of me. But if when he contacts me I'll keep it simple & add mystery. Because I don't want to ignore him and keep getting that cold distant guy.

Anonymous said...

hey! my relationship with this aries isn't nearly as complicated as all of yours but i figured i might as well give it a shot. basically, me and this guy had this casual dating for two months(I know it doesn't sound like a lot but i'm in college and we live on the same floor. So we see each other literally every day). And he's constantly been sending me mixed signals with what he wants. Whenever our relationship has been brought up, he always casually mentions that he could deal with 'less freedom' and how 'he'll be as serious as i want us to be.' But then he disappears completely! Or maybe, the right term is act super dismissive.

However, I always know he's still interested in me because when I randomly run into his friends, they're like 'oh, you're HER! [blank] talks about you all the time.' and because his friends which i do talk to, always ask 'so, when's your next date?' which i would just respond with a shrug.

Anyways, one day, I just snap. I have other guys after me and i'm tired of being a 'single, taken girl.' (there was a huge drama between me having to pick between him and this other guy before so it kind of scared me from saying yes to other dates). I told him upfront that he's 'not dateable' and that we don't want the same things. and when he asked if i wanted a relationship, i told him 'I don't know. but i don't see you as the guy who I want a relationship with.' he seemed to take it pretty well, agreeing that it was college and that he wanted to explore his other options too (he was a relationship guy in hs and wanted to try something new). We both agreed to be friends and i figured it could work because I thought he wasn't that into me if he responded so cooly.

SO, my problem is that he's acting like an ASS to me now. I'm still chill with him and his friends. We say hi in the hallway and have some nice conversations. Me and his close girl friends study together sometimes so i know it's not them egging him on. But when I see him in the hallway, he completely ignores me. He even makes snarky remarks when he sees me discussing HOMEWORK with some guys from our dorm.

So basically, i want to mind fuck him. HARD. I want to make him chase me again. But i have no idea how to do so (he literally asked me out of the blue before) and how to proceed afterwards. Can anyone help me?

Anonymous said...

Can someone help me in regards to understanding an Aries man? My ex-boyfriend and I met back in 2009 and at the time I was not really interested in him. He pursued me for a year and a half until we finally became romantically involved. Once we did, i had moved away for a job and after a few months I had returned. I returned because I had lost my job and of course during that time I couldn’t handle things and I broke up with him. We ended on really good terms and after a month we hung out together. A month after that we saw each other by chance in a different state and ended up spending the evening together. From there we ended up getting back together and were dating. After about 3 months he became extremely ill and ended up having surgery. It was a long recovery and I was not able to see him. Once he started to feel somewhat normal something happened and we/he saw me as a friend and no longer as a girlfriend. I told him I couldn’t continue to see him as I had wanted more and for me to move on I needed to break all ties with him. He contacted me 7 weeks later and we hungout again. He kept saying it was so great to spend time with me and mentioned it 5 times the first time we saw eachother. we hungout 1 more time after that and it was then that I followed up with an email saying I really couldn’t hangout with him anymore. Ok, so 5 weeks later he invites me out and says whenever he has tickets to concerts he always thinks of me first. He invited me to go to an event he was hosting and during that time, while we were only friends, he would look across the crowd and lock-in and smile at me as well as held my hand as we went to an event right after his party. At the event, I asked him if the girl who was buy herself was his girlfriend and while he tried to deny it, I called him out on it and said I saw you kiss her. As it turns out, his best-friend pulls me aside and says “Here is what happened. He didn’t find out that she was coming until the last minute and didn’t know what to do. He said he didn’t want to hurt me and his friend said why…Do you love her?” His answer was “no.” Why did the Aries man do this to me and why does he keep calling me back into his life?? I never deserved to be hurt the way he hurt me?

Anonymous said...

Continued from above. i am an aquarius. I left the event crying and sent him several texts stating that he had no integrity and to never contact me again. After that I blocked him on my phone and email however I am not able to block him on my home phone. Why is it that everytime I say don't contact me, he does and acts like nothing is wrong and acts like he misses me? Is this normal???

Anonymous said...

To the aquarius, it just seems like he's tryna set you up for heartbreak. That's y he keeps actin normal n invitin you places everytime u say u don't wanna hang out. You cut him off first and he's not tryna have that so he'll just try n get you back into a comfortable spot so he can have the upper hand. He's in no way tryin to get with you, just back at you. U declared war the day u left him n being an aries he had to find another way to find the upperhand. You really think his girl just showed up by coincidence? Ignore his ass, stop repeatin urself n tellin him u don't wanna talk. He just gets nice n turn su into his bitch so u don't even notice how he's reeling you back in for the kill. Don't respond n don't even block him on anythin that's just gonna get him more riled up to fuck with you. Trust me I'm an aqua too dated an aries for 4 years he's toyin wit you.

Anonymous said...

I'm an Aries I think if you should confront him if you really want to know, or if you really want him show him,by letting him know how you feel.

Anonymous said...

From a man point of view your man doesn't probably know how to tell you he's has a sex problem, but does want you

Anonymous said...

Never use the word space, he's going to think you want time away from him,so that is going to confuse him also

Anonymous said...

Just go up to him and be nice ask him to help you with something, then ask him out to eat for helping you, if he offer to pay then you got what you want

Anonymous said...

What happened to you was simple,you played the way you wanted it you could have said no but you didn't, you both didn't want to be alone,now you find some kind of feeling there,but it's not real it's almost like getting use to someone

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

As much as I appreciate the Aries male dropping by here (thank you for participating and sharing your thoughts) I have to respectfully disagree.

Confrontation is never a good idea coming from the woman in touchy situations like this because the guy won't listen, he'll call the woman "emotional," and let it go in one ear and out the other. Men despise having "the talk." It's not necessary to let him know how you feel to show him you want him (i.e. do more work here) - he already knows this, you've already told him this, he doesn't need to hear it repeatedly (to inflate his ego any further) - and he's already got all the "green" lights he needs to man up and move forward and go after what he wants. He didn't want a relationship so you walked. That was his choice, you don't need to "convince" him you're interested or that you're a great catch. If he doesn't already see that, you walk away. You don't confront him, plead with him or try to convince him otherwise (i.e. do all the work here) just so he can slap you down again (something Aries men love to do to women, play games with your emotions and strategize to gain control and the upper hand).

I don't think he has a sex problem, I think he's just playing games and toying with you (to boost his ego), one of Aries favorite pastimes.

If you want space, then that's what you say, you USE the word SPACE. If he thinks you want time away as a result - well then yes, he'd be right, LOL. Telling someone you want space means exactly that, you want time away. So that's what he should think. And if it confuses him, then he needs to sit down and think about what he did that drove you to the point where you wanted and needed space and time away from him. Aries always want the focus on them, but you have to think about yourself here. Who cares if he's confused? He should be, because he's confusing the hell outta you here. This isn't about HIM, it's about YOU. Giving YOU the time and space that YOU need. If he's confused, oh well, he'll figure it out, he's a big boy. Men do this shit to women everyday, constantly sending mixed signals, calling and coming around, then disappearing for weeks at a time, then coming around again, then saying they need space, then calling but saying they don't want a relationship - please. Men confuse women all the time and they don't worry about YOU when doing that - so why the hell are you going to worry about THEM when the tables are turned? If he's confused, he needs to sit down and figure it out, much like women do everyday. He needs to figure out what he did that drove you away and made you ask for space.

And no, don't ever ask a man for a dinner date or any date for that matter. It's never a good idea for women to pursue men. It gets the woman used, the guy sticks around for a couple of weeks and then he disappears - because he wasn't that interested to begin with. That's why women should only date men who are genuinely interested in them and show it, by pursuing you asking you out, and treating you nice like men are supposed to do. You don't see doe chasing buck around the forest and you don't see the lioness running down the lion king out on the safari. It goes against the natural order of things and that's not the way Mother Nature intended it. And you sure as hell don't buy a guy who's treating you like crap a dinner. And if dinner is all you want, you go buy that FOR yourself and BY yourself. You don't need to ask a man to dinner just to get a free dinner.

Cont . . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

And your feelings ARE real. Trouble is, his are not. As the Aries male commenter here stated, it's comfortable to him is all. That's how Aries look at things and people, with a very "what can YOU do for ME" attitude. Because it's always all about them hehe ;-) Aries are very focused on "self" and they view everything from a rather self-centered perspective and they lack the ability to see things from the other persons point of view or relate to any of the feelings the other person may have. They don't realize they do this, but they do do it.

Notice the theme in the comments above? Read between the lines here. It's a theme of "YOU do all the work, YOU make all the moves while I sit back and relax and not lift a finger and just take all your propositions into consideration." It's a theme of "I do nothing while you do everything. You prove yourself to me." Umm, no way, don't do this ladies! This is what they want you to do, so they gain control and the upper hand. Don't fall for that. The first comment translates to "you do the work here, come get me, confront me, I like a good battle."

The second translates to, "I have a problem but I'm not going to admit it to you, you figure it out." Notice how in the first comment, he's requesting YOU to do the work and confront him about the truth, but in the next breath, HE has no intention of confronting you or doing the work to let you know he has a problem. YOU'RE supposed to put your neck out there and talk to him, but HE'S not going to do that with you when the tables are turned - he's going to play games and you're going to have to figure it out yourself.

The third comment is funny. Never confuse him and never reject him - that's for HIM to do to YOU, LOL ;-) Out of all the men on the planet, Aries males ask women for "space" the most. They constantly push women away, it's part of their little game playing thing. And here's one telling you to NEVER do that to THEM or use that word "space" on THEM - that's for THEM to do to YOU, LOL.

In the next one, you're supposed to come crawling back (and make sure you're nice while you're crawling) and take a guy who's being ignorant, mean and treating you poorly - out to dinner. I'm speechless over that one. HE should be taking YOU to dinner (and apologizing for treating you bad) - but to the Aries, it's YOU who needs to take THEM to dinner, LOL. (Cause it's all about them ;-)

And the last one says a lot. It says, "No, you don't have feelings. You think you do, but you don't." THEY'RE going to tell YOU how you FEEL. (Because again, it's all about them. It's about them being in control of others and the situation all the time and dictating how everything plays out). This is how THEY see others, so they assume EVERYONE on the planet thinks like THEY do.

And THIS is the reason why I, personally, cannot date an Aries male, LOL. I have approximately half a dozen very close male Aries friends, but that's all we'll ever be because I can't take the way they are. All we do is go round and round about stuff like this. They try to control me and I fight back, they try to tell me what to do and I don't listen - it's a never ending cycle with me and them, LOL.

To the Aries male here, again I thank you for contributing your thoughts, this was insightful and very helpful. This will help lots of women here, I'm sure. And I don't want you to think that I'm being mean, it's really not my intention. I do disagree, that I will admit. But two people can agree to disagree :-) It's just a little healthy debate is all. Which is usually the way it goes with me and Aries men, LOL. So thank you for sharing your thoughts here and participating in our discussion.

Anonymous said...

Essence

I have dated my aries man for almost 7 years. Very rocky roads I must say. But the sex was the best ever. I am an attractive female who has experienced his insecurities of my being beautiful. He constantly calls me celebrity, he never tells me I'm beautiful, he acts as though my beauty is a sin. However, he always has compliments for not so beautiful women. He has made me question my self and ask what's wrong with me? Which would make me feel insecure. He always accuses me of his friends and other men.

On September 29, 2012 I called off the relationship because I couldn't deal with his temper tantrums any longer. He wrote me a very beautiful letter explaining how much he loves me and thanked me for being in his life for so long. He said the breakup is going to hurt him, but in time he will get over it. He stated I'm a good woman and deserves so much more. He also said he loves me and he always will, and wanted us to remain friends. His message touched me, so 2 weeks later I wrote him and said I would like to give the relationship another try. At that time he said he needs time, which took me by surprise, does he really mean this, I'm confused. He would send me emails here and there, but very general to say the least. About a week ago, I told him that I couldn't stand the distance and non-communication, either he wants to continue the relationship or not, please let me know so I can free my heart. His response was he really needs space to get his head and thoughts togehter. His finances are completely deminished and his business is about to fold, therefore he needs time to get back on track. He also said he doesn't want to keep stringing me along for what might take some time. I am so confused, he has been in this financial bind for some time now, why is it that I called off the relationship first, then when I want to make amends, he comes up with this excuse. Is it really over, or is this revenge and mind games because I broke his heart on September 29th. Will he come back to me, we loved each other so much... Please help. Essence

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Yes, he'll be back - but when he's ready. He's obviously second guessing things here and maybe the break up made him realize that these other things in his life were keeping him from being able to fully invest in a relationship right now. Which is why he said you deserve better - he meant better than he can give you right now. He's obviously insecure. And he didn't compliment you because he knows you're beautiful, but he didn't want you to think that, or you may leave him, thinking you can do better.

He'll be back, but you need to give him the space he's asking for. Don't call, don't text. He asked for space, give it to him. Let him miss you. Let him think about you, wonder about you. He can't do that if you're contacting him regularly.

So pull back and disappear. He'll come back to seek you out.

Anonymous said...

Essence.....I thank you so much and I will do just that.

Anonymous said...

I am a Leo female and this Aries man and I were best friends. After a while we gave in to an intense attraction. I ended up pregnant but decided not to keep it because I knew he wasn't ready and it would 'ruin his life' and just because I was madly in love with him wasn't a healthy reason! I've regretted it ever since. We continued to sleep with each other and he messed around with my emotions and thoughts for three years. I remember him telling me to come up to see him and then introducing me to his new girlfriend it was mortifying, we had only just slept together. I tried to play it cool and be one of the lads but in the end I had to step away because it was just too painful,and I lost out on a lot of good friends. I've been thoroughly humiliated time and time again and obviously this was made worse by my leo tendancy to dramatise everything in my own head. I'm going to see him soon and would like to know how to handle myself, gain composure, fight back from defeat and most importantly regain my sense of power confidence and worth, thanks

uniqueklassik said...

Its funny kuz I'm a pisces, in a two year relationship wit an aries man! I'm 22 & he's 26! Wat yuh think about that?

uniqueklassik said...

Yes this is wat I needed! I kno this will burn his ass! An mi man is 26 an we been togthr for 2yrs so I kno this Probably will work!
Does age matter sumtimes?

uniqueklassik said...

I'm a pisces an mi man is an aries! He's 26 an I'm 22 we been togthr for 2yrs an he's startin to go backwards (cheating idk if sex but he's dealing wit otha females an I dnt kno why) iwe neva had this problem... any reason why he may be doin this, an lyin about it. Even wen I tell him jus let me Go so yuh nor me hav to go thru the drama, he says I'm talkin stupid! Smh
I NEED HELP!

uniqueklassik said...

Ok I'm in Need of sum help!

I'm a 22yr old Pisces female an I'm dating a 26yr old 6'6, 250lb male Aries, who is so into himself at times (he's tall, hansom & muscular)! An I'm not bad myself I'm 5'2 128ld light skin hazel eye female, he's jamacian an I'm American. Ok well my story is he came at me first but I wasn't really feelin him kuz I thought he wud be trouble so I brushed him off but I still gav him my number, he wud call me everyday but I wud ignore them or pick up an tell him I was busy.
But one day I needed to get out the house an that day was his bday, plus he had asked me to braid his hair an so it was perfect timeing! So we got up an we clicked as we started talkin it was like we known each otha foreva an our bond was already there! So that was 4-4-11 ( Our Anni :} ) we had sum drama includin his damn BabyMotha (who is a nut that can't get ova him no matter how mush he diss her) an anotha female dat he use to use for money smh< but she was quickly dismissed, but for all that we neva had a cheatin problem.

Ok so Now, these last 3mnth he's been actin funny wit his fone, so of course dat was a Red Flag kuz he dnt do that an he knows I'm a phone wizard so I can find shyt real Easy. So yea I hav been findin thing like text messages (he thought he deleted) to aontha female dat has NOTHING on me, an wen I confront him about it, its Fuck her she's nobdy she dnt hav nothni on yuh, but wen I tell him to call her so she can stop callin he makes excuses. This has been goin on for a month (oct) now. But then he decided to call her an say stop callin, but she still has an then I checked his email (the one I set up) an he had sent her an damn picture wtf? So now I feel played! An let me make it known I KNOW HE LOVES ME, but where is this coming frm?
An I also told him (this is wats CONFUSING THE HELL OUTTA ME) if he Wants to deal wit other Females then jus leave me alone, an yuh won't have to go thru all the drama when yuh return home, yuh can jus do yuh! No he tells me "why yuh sayin dumb shit", " I don't want no otha gurl I fuckin love yuh" or "yuh breakin my heart" but when he leaves an return its the Same thing, an I Love this Man so much! He's even tryna get me pregnant (I already been pregnant but ddnt keep them & I already hav a 4yr old daughter> Not his). An he also haven't been home in the last 3 days startin today, an I've been callin him but he ddnt answer all day but called me out of no where late at night, for two days now sayin he O.T (out of town)! Idk but I feel myself giving up but I dnt want to!

WHAT SHUD I DO PLEASE HELP???

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov. 4 1:18PM,
You fake it. You do whatever you have to do and you fake it here. Whatever emotions are going on inside of your head when you see him, you don't let those show and you fake it.

And if you can, bring a date with you - or a good friend who happens to be a man. Bring along some support and a nice distraction from the situation.

But whatever you do, don't let him see you sweat. And if you can't take it, you leave and you remove yourself from the situation.

And to be honest, if it were men, I wouldn't even acknowledge his presence there or speak to him at all. He sounds very selfish and you don't give people like that your attention or waste your time fretting over them.

And if all of this sounds too hard - don't even go in the first place. Avoid it altogether.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@UniqueKlassik,
You leave him. You walk. You don't tolerate poor treatment from a man for one second. If you do, you'll be in for a lifetime of it.

You walk and you give him the freedom to do what he wants to do. It's the only way he'll realize he's wrong here. You stay, and he won't ever think his behavior is wrong. If you tolerate his behavior, you'll get more of it.

He doesn't want you to leave because - he wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. He wants the security of a relationship while he dates other women on the side. In no way, shape or form do you tolerate this.

You send him packing. ASAP.

Anonymous said...

@MOA I've read most of your posts and it seems some aries man has really hurt you in some way. also, by advising women to fake their emotions when dealing with someone and to not tell what they are really feeling; you're making them play games which their aries man is now forced to play. aries men love being open and honest, but they can sense when their partner isn't, which makes them shut down and stoop to that level. they are highly intuitive and know more than most people think. set a high expectation for an aries man and he will rise to achieve it. aries men do not play games. they don't know how to. they live mostly in the moment and are not adept at scheming; which is why they rush into situations and are known as impulsive. to give out such negative advice to others is not what astrology is all about. it is about self-awareness and shining light on those aspects of ourselves that we may not want to, in order to grow spiritually. i really hope you can use this powerful forum for creating positive energy on this planet. as a taurus, beauty and harmony are your bread and butter. with that being said, you are correct in your assessment of the lower forms of aries, male and female. that is the negative side, as each sign has its own negative aspects. my advice to women, and men, dealing with this type of individual: if you find they are acting like MOA is describing just get out of the situation. if you find you have to play games and they are acting immature and selfish, get out and never look back. there are plenty of aries who have outgrown this way of being and are the inspiring, loving, loyal 'knights in shining armor'. they are out there, and you'll clearly know the difference right away.

peace and joy to all

leo rising
aries sun - first week of april :)
taurus moon
pisces mercury

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, however, I think you've missed the purpose of this piece. First off, it was a spin off from a piece written by Jeffrey Kishner over at Sasstrology and it was a bit of a tongue and cheek piece. Jeffrey is a well known astrologer and he was exploring the negative tendencies of the sign of Aries.

Secondly, nope, I've never been crushed by an Aries. As a Taurus bull, they don't get the opportunity with me. The ram can charge the bull as often as it likes but the bull doesn't fall. It stands strong and just shakes it's head at the immense amount of energy the ram is spending attempting to bring it down, LOL. I have approximately a half a dozen male Aries friends and I've had several female Aries friends along the way, too. I'm very familiar with the sign, their impulsive tendencies to act first and think later, and their "fire."

I don't think it's realistic to say that a Fire sign, ruled by Mars, The God of War, is a relaxed sign, LOL, as they have the mindset of a warrior most times, even when there's no war. A guest blogger here by the name of Derek recently summed up the concept quite nicely in this piece:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/11/zodiac-mars-placement-boyfriend-bastard-astrology.html

Derek wrote: "Most Greek myths featuring Aries portray him as a hot-headed buffoon.

The lesson appears to be: whereas taking the offensive while there’s a "war" to be won is admirable, continuing to maintain the offensive afterwards is in and of itself - well, rather offensive.

In astrology, Mars rules the sign of Aries. Like Don Quixote, the quintessential Aries man possesses the sometimes charming, sometimes regrettable, tendency to tilt at windmills. Suitably then, wherever Mars lands on his natal chart, its possible for him to see a "war" - even where there is none."

Which I think sums up the overall mindset of Aries. When there's a war to be won, yes, these tendencies are admirable. However, when you're always gunning for a fight, even if there is none, and behaving as such - others will find that behavior rather offensive in nature. And being the "babies" of the Zodiac and the first sign on the wheel, they have been associated in Sextrology with the age range of 0-7. As a result, many times, their behavior is akin to a 7 year old, throwing a temper tantrum when they don't get their way.

Many Aries will never realize this tendency in themselves, unless of course, they have become self aware - which generally doesn't happen with many of them until much, much later in life. Most see themselves as chivalrous, even though the reality is that others see them as having a tendency to come off as rather offensive, behaving selfishly, in a fiesty manner that's full of misdirected fire.

As a result, I would never advise a women to be upfront with an Aries male behaving like that - it'd be a death sentence for her. If he's been chivalrous, that's a different story.

However, if you read the stories here, it's clear to see that many of the Aries men women are referring to here are treating them offensively, rudely and with great arrogance, being controlled by ego - as opposed to an exalted, spiritual self. And when that's the case, you never put your head or heart on their guillotine. Being the impulsive Fire warrior, ruled by Mars, The God of War - they'll lop your head right off first - and then stop to think about it later. And you simply end up yet another conquest on their long list of domination.

Cont . . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You misunderstand me and my intentions my Aries friend. You see, I'm not here spreading negativity with bad intent. In fact, it's the opposite. My intentions are good - and what I'm trying to do here is help these women maintain control of themselves and their emotions by protecting themselves when dealing with a lesser evolved Aries (which is what they're all sharing stories of dealing with here) so they don't get run over like road kill by a warrior that's so wrapped up in "self" that he fails to see the harm he's inflicting on others.

And when dealing with men, or women, behaving like that - you never play your cards by sharing your fears and your raw emotions and feelings - unless you want to be victimized. That'd be akin to handing them the key to hurting you.

Read the stories here. Would you advise a woman who has been dealing with an Aries male that has cheated on her, isn't answering her calls, says very mean, hurtful things to her and takes her for granted on a regular basis, making everything about him and nothing about her - I mean, really? Would you advise her to share her emotions with someone like that? Do you really think someone who is treating another human being like that really even cares what the other persons emotions and feelings are? No way. I would never, and will ever, advise any woman dealing with a man who is treating her like that to treat him with fairness and kindness. She'll get destroyed by him emotionally. So yes, in those situations, when the Aries is treating others like that, I advise not to play your cards and to treat others as they are treating you. All's fair in love and war and by mirroring their bad behavior, you actually stand a better chance of having them empathize with you and your feelings. If you do otherwise, and treat someone who is treating you ignorantly - with kindness, truth and full exposure to them - they will victimize you and take advantage of you. So no, I will never give that advice to a woman dealing with a man who is treating her like that. And I find it hard to believe that you've read through the stories of pain and betrayal here being inflicted on women by Aries men - and say they're not playing games and think it's a good idea to advise them to be nice to the Aries man mistreating them - in return?

Cont . . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You said this ". .when dealing with someone and to not tell what they are really feeling; you're making them play games which their aries man is now forced to play."

Umm, read the stories here. The ARIES MEN are clearly the one's PLAYING the GAMES FIRST. Not the other way around, as you're inferring in that statement. If these Aries men were behaving as "knights in shining armor" as you stated - none of these women would be here seeking to share their stories of immense pain and betrayal. And the only way to get someone like that to empathize with you, is to use a psychological tactic called "behavioural mirroring." Which enables them to empathize with their victim by having to experience the treatment they are inflicting onto others themselves. Because many of the women here actually care about these Aries men and want things to work, rather than walk away because they're already emotionally invested. In that case, an eye for an eye or a dose of their own medicine is the only way to have them empathize, become self aware and rise to their best selves.

You say "set a high expectation for an aries man and he will rise to achieve it." Well that's exactly what I'm advising these women to do here. Set a high expectation for how you expect to be treated and hopefully, the Aries man will rise to achieve it.

Had the stories they've shared here contained tales of Aries men conducting themselves like "knights in shining armor" - then yes, I may have given that advice.

But the reality is, this thread is loaded with stories of the lesser evolved Aries behaving badly, treating others rudely, and motoring through life selfishly hurting others.

And as Derek stated in his piece here, even Greek mythology portrays Ares as a hot headed buffoon - that doesn't mean that the Greeks were wronged by an Ares - it just means they called it like they see it is all.

Not all Aries men are bad and some have found their spirituality - however, those are not the ones we're talking about here. And the intent behind the advice given here is for the good - it's to protect themselves with a man like that - and to not play their cards and share their emotions - only to be rejected and have him lop their head off and move onto the next conquest as if nothing happened.

It appears we will agree to disagree here, however, I must say - for a first week Aries, you've said your peace in a calm, rational and respectful manner, LOL ;-) Thank you for that and thank you for sharing here with us!

Anonymous said...

Leo female here again, thank you for your advice fake it i will and if needs be there won't even go there! I feel such a strange connection I knew he was going to get in contact with me soon, he messaged me about a group holiday I just didn't reply. Hope that was the right thing to do.

kevin d said...

YEAH BUDDY!!!!

kevin d said...

Trust that he's really eating all that shit that he made! When us aries male realized we've fucked up, we are dieing inside.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Pisces he is an Aries male he wants me but can't have me due to not fulfilling my needs I want him but can't have him due to the fact that I am not accepting his baggage meaning another female as much as he tells me he loves me blah blah blah I'm lost all I know is 3 is not company he has really hurt me smh I had to just break all ties with him and his response was I understand take care....

Anonymous said...

GOOD TO KNOW KEVIN D! APHRODITE, I AM ANONYMOUS WHO WON'T IN ALL CAPS ON OCT. IST, I HAVE BEEN TAKING YOUR ADVICE AND IT'S BEEN WORKING BUT MY ARIES MALE AND THE LEO FEMALE JUST SENT ME A TEXT WITH MY ADDRESS IN WHICH I DONT KNOW HOW IN THE HELL THEY FOUND OUT TRYING TO THREATEN ME TO GIVE HIS FACEBOOK BACK OR THE POLICE WILL GET INVOLVE, BITCH AND NIGGA PLEASE!!!(SORRY FOR MY BAD EXPRESSION APHRODITE NO DISRESPECT INTENDED TO YOU OR YOUR READERS BOO) BUT A FAMILY NMEMBER TOLD HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH HER, THE DV CHARGES HAS BEEN DROPPED AND HE DON'T THINK THE BABY IS HIS. SO HE CALLS EVERY NOW AND THEN TALKING BOUT COMING TO GET THE KIDS BUT NEVER DO, BUT I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO IF HE FOUND OUT THAT IM 8WKS PREGNANT, WILL HE SHOW ANY EMOTIONS OR JUST BE IN COMPETITION WITH ME? I ALSO HEARD THE HE'S READY TO LEAVE HER ASS SOON, WE SEE HONEY IF ITS GAME OR REAL! I JUST LAUGH AT HIM BECAUSE HE'S GOING DOWN AND ITS BEEN BAD LUCK EVERY SINCE THEY MET, HE JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL AGAIN FOR DRIVING HER STOLEN TRUCK W/ NO INSURANCE AND NO TAGS, JUST TRIFLIN AND RATCHET!! ROTFLMFAO!!! BUT SEE THAT'S WHAT YOU GET TRYING TO STUNT LIKE ME!! THIEF!!! BUT IM GOOD, I'M MOVING ON AND IGNORING BOTH OF THEY ASSES LIKE YOU SAID, THEY GETS NO RESPONSE. LADIES LISTEN TO APHRODITE HER ADVISE WORKS, I PROMISE!! THANK YOU DIVA, LADIES BE STRONG!!

Anonymous said...

I really wish I read all this before,Aphrodite please give me advise.I see most of this are scorpios and aries males!I have been hopelessly inlove with an aries male for nearly 3 years,we never spoke for a while and then got back into contact,after spending time together which was the best days of my life I just felt that I needed to pose a question to him,he knows how I feel about him,I never know how he feels,he then admitted that it is mostly physical attraction.I am now a complete wreck and all I want to do is win him back,I want him to love me back.After cutting ties I just had to get out how I felt and sent him a msg stating just how I feel,completely dead etc and that I would not bother to text or any contact with him ever again,was the last text a bad move?i just wanted him to know how bad he hurt me and how I feel.PLEASE HELP,I need to know exactly what to do to win this man back :-(

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Well, careful what you wish for here honey. You're wishing for a man who only desires you physically. That's a recipe for disaster as far as a relationship goes. If the man doesn't care for you as a woman and appreciate all things about you, and only wants your body and sex - why do you want him for a boyfriend?

He'll only hurt you, cheat on you and leave eventually. Why? Because he was only half interested to begin with (physically). So I don't think this is a man worth attempting to keep around. And when you got overly emotional with him, he now knows he has the upper hand here. It's never a good idea for a woman to completely reveal herself and her emotions like that to a man that's unsure. Because now, he knows how to hurt you if that's what he should decide to do.

Read this article here:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

There's a section there about the value of scarcity when dating. And the piece describes how overt displays of emotion from women actually destroy chances of relationships with men.

Read that piece and see if it helps.

Anonymous said...

hello, I am a teenager and this Aries guy is also a teenager but 1 year younger than me. 2 years ago me and him used to be great friends (like always there to help each other) then later he asked for my number. We used to text each other for like 9 months and I realized my feelings for him. He always have to annoy me, tease me and play fights with me. And on my birthday he wished me and said "I miss you".I used to enjoy that. One day I called him and said "i like you" and he replied "not now". I was confused listening to this answer so I assumed that he doesn't like me. When the school reopened he was again talking to me like everyday. But when my best friend started teasing him having crush on me he said, "do you remember that I rejected your friend on the fone?" Listening this from him, made me cry and so I texted him that I hate him. 1 week later we again started talking to each other and I couldn't ignore him as it was a hard task for me. Mr Aphrodite, I am confused regarding his feelings for me.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
He's being a silly, bratty, high school boy is all. They start this crap young and to be honest, it doesn't get any better. Doesn't matter if they're 14 or 41 . . they never change. Sigh.

First of all, don't be so emotional with him. To text him that you hate him one week - and then you're friends with him the next week - don't do that. Because then he knows you like him because you go so upset. And he'll know that he can push your buttons and toy with you like this - and a week later, you'll be speaking with him again.

If I were you - I'd ignore him for a while. See how he behaves.

He rejected you - so why not give him what he wants? He's acting like he doesn't like you, so why don't you act the same towards him?

Do that and I imagine you'll see that he really does care and if you ignore him, he's going to wonder why ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Mr Aphrodite. I'll reply you regarding his response. By the way I am Sanjana and I'll hope that it would be really honorable for me if you would remember my name.

Alexa said...

hi Mr Aphrodite. i have been with an aries male for over six month and it has been the best relationship i had. The only thing is that he absolutely hates when i talk to my male friends. All my friends are males, and for him i had to cut all of them out of my life, but sometimes when one of them has a problem and reaches out it is hard for me to ignore them so i talk with them. As a result when he goes through my phone and notices that i talked to them he become enraged and breaks up with me, but after we get over it. Couple of weeks ago we agreed that i was not going to talk to any of my friends again. Unfortunately, few days ago when we were together one of my male friends called me with a unknown number, so i picked up. When i realized it was one of my male friends i acted like i did not know the person on the phone, and hung up. When he asked i said that i didn't know the person but he figured out that i was lying, and since three days ago he has not been answering my calls, texts, emails, nothing. In 3 days i have not heard anything from him. what do i do? is this the end of our relationship? please i need your help

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
You dump him, that's what you do. You give him what he wants. If he doesn't want to be with you, fine.

No one should be controlled by another human being like that, nor should a woman permit herself to be controlled by a man like that. He sounds dangerous and extremely insecure.

Do you realize that one of the first things that men who abuse women do is - keep them from their friends and family. That's how it always starts. Then, next thing ya' know, he's smacking you around and punching you in the face.

Do not permit anyone to control you. Why are you giving up friends for this man? Why do you let him tell you who you can and cannot speak to? Do not permit a man to tell you who you can and cannot talk to - ever.

He sounds abusive. If I were you, I'd get away from him ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Aphrodite, I NEED YOUR ADVICE! This is anonymous from Sept. 30, 2012 3pm & Nov 21, 2012 7:45 (in all caps) remember in the Nov post, I said that I wonder what would he do if he found I that I was pregnant by someone else. Girl, I told thru an argument when decided to call about our kids and very slickly he thru in that he's with her now and I tried to throw salt in the game, I stopped him right there and him that I was taking up for after she tried to do the both us dirty, so I roast her ass, but since you are putting your cape on and trying to save her after she put you in jail and got you along somebody elses baby, then imma continue to let the HO drag your ass, so cut him off again by telling him that I don't need this stress right now, I know he was round someone because he was showing off and the EGO was big because he gone I got 2, 3 bitches not just her, so I told him yeah and Im pregnant boo so I don't got time, oh Aphrodite it was so quiet that you can here the roaches kissing where he was at, lol! So I hung up he call talking about, I gone call you no more, I said good, that was Tuesday that next Monday which was last week he call while at work talking about congrats on the baby, who pregnant by, do you and kids need anything, imma call you from 9-6 during day so we be in tune about the kids, and I need them and buy them stuff, girl he calls week day, oh on just checking on you, Aphrodite all it took was for me to say on pregnant for you to respect me by not calling while around her and seeing about and to me like you some sense. What to do because I know he got something planned, now she know we talking when at work and she mad. how to treat this, because we talking about an April 9 Aries, crazy and very charming but can't be trusted so, how to win this and string his ass, because I don't him.

Anonymous said...

Sanjana,

Do you remember me?? I posted a comment on 4th December regarding my situation with Aries man.

As you said, to ignore him in order to see if he cares, I did ignore him and stopped talking to him. As a result I felt that he was irritated but next day I went out for the school trip. When I came back from the trip, after 5 days, he wanted to talk to me but I didn't reply to that.

Mr Aphrodite, I don't know what he is feeling for me right now because I ignored him like hell and didn't even listen to what he wanted to say. I'm scared.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Sanjana,
Yes, I remember you. And I see that the "no contact" worked. He is now ready and wants to speak with you.

You're not going to know what he's feeling unless you speak with him. And I'm not sure what you're scared of? Are you afraid of him? Is he a mean man?

If you fear him, then stay away from him. But if it's just nerves, you're going to have to accept that and process those feelings.

So you can either respond to his communication and set a date to talk (in a public place where nothing bad can happen, like over dinner somewhere) or you can wait for him to contact you again, which I believe he may do.

Anonymous said...

@Alexa and @MOA

To be honest, in his defence, Alexa did lie to him that it wasn't her male friend on the phone. I mean, if a man lied to me, when a female friend of his called, I would assume that he was having an affair or trying to chat her up and I would be hurt by that. Lying is not good.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
True, lying is not good. However, she did it for a reason and that reason was self-preservation. This man was controlling and that's never a good thing.

"The only thing is that he absolutely hates when i talk to my male friends. All my friends are males, and for him i had to cut all of them out of my life, but sometimes when one of them has a problem and reaches out it is hard for me to ignore them so i talk with them. As a result when he goes through my phone and notices that i talked to them he become enraged and breaks up with me."

I can understand that "if a man lied to me, when a female friend of his called, I would assume that he was having an affair or trying to chat her up and I would be hurt by that."

However, if you were controlling him, telling him who he could and couldn't be friends with, you would be creating a situation down the road where the man would be forced to lie to you - BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

See what I mean? When someone is not mature enough to handle the truth, the natural human reaction to that is to then protect yourself (and them) from the end result - a complete backlash of rage, anger and control.

Which isn't fair to anyone, man or woman. No oe should be controlled or told who they can be friends with and who they can't.

So yes, lying is not good. But neither is control or anger. And when you attempt to control someone and then get angry with them when they don't listen to you - you can expect them to then lie to you - because they've tried being honest with you - and you've proved to them that you're not mature enough to handle the truth.

Anonymous said...

Sanjana,

Mr. Aphrodite, "no contact" really worked thanks to you but, I don't think he'll make an effort to speak to me or to clear things out because of his big fat male ego. Everyday he starts some random topic to which i don't reply but doesn't say anything serious to me. I remember last year, when he wished me "happy new year" on 31st january, 12 am. Mr Aphrodite, i miss him, do you think he'll wish me tomorrow on new year's eve??

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Sanjana,
It's possible that he will. But YOU wait for HIM to do that. You don't do it first.

And if he's attempting small talk but not talking seriously to you . . it could be that he's feeling you out first. Meaning, he's unsure of whether or not you're upset, so he's testing with small talk.

You could try making small talk with him and responding to that on occasion - but if he doesn't get into serious talk after that - then he may simply be attempting to string you along.

Anonymous said...

Sanjana,

Mr Aphrodite, he didn't wish me on new year. When the school reopened he didn't talk to me. We just saw each other but none of us initiated any kind of communication.

Besides, not having my fault, I miss him because since 1 year we never spent a day without talking to each other. I know I shouldn't talk to him because its his fault and I'm losing my hopes that he'll realize it. I guess he'll never realize it. I don't know what should I do and the worst part is that my heart is not willing to giveup on him. Please help me!!

Anonymous said...

@ Sanjana,
I am in the same exactly situation. My Aries disappeared on me for about 10 days between Christmas and New Years: no calls, no txt, no HI, no "Happy New Year" either... so after we went back to work (we work at the same place)I did my best to avoid him and treat him as everybody else. He is definitely surprised and confused (I can see him watching me), but his PRIDE and EGO are way bigger than the desire to come to talk to me. So, like you, I think he would never going to make that step to contact me first - he is too stubborn and cold, he will just wait for me to melt down. Well, guess what, I am stubborn too, I will keep distance and if he really never comes to talk - be it! That would mean - HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME! So, don't give up! I know how it hurts though...
@ Aphrodite: Thank You Girl very much for your advices, if I didn't follow them, I would be his DOORMAT by now...just wish I could find your website earlier, so I might wouldn't be hurt that much... Hugs from me, AIRY Aquarius!

Anonymous said...

@Sanjana from @AnonWoman

Thank You Girl very much for your advices, if I didn't follow them, I would be his DOORMAT by now...just wish I could find your website earlier, so I might wouldn't be hurt that much...

@Sanjana - I was just saying exactly the same thing on one of Mirror's other pages. I wish I'd found Mirror's blog last March 2012 so that my Aries ex bf couldn't have done the emotional pain he did to me as he did.

I will say one thing, at the beginning my Aries was like "what ever makes this work!" "I will sit in front of all your friends and answer questions" "If you need to move north I will ask my wise family about how to make long distance relationships work!" "I will read online about how to make long distance relationship works!"

Anything to him was possible.

In reality? When we went downhill, and I said would you go sing under my balcony to get me back or knock down my door....he said: my ego is too big for that.

He has changed a bit and is nice too....and is working on his ego....it is a great shame when the Aries boy changes mid way through, but boy, you're spot on....good luck to you girlfriend.

xx said...

Hellooo I'm a virgo female.

It's a long story but a aries male broked my feelings and now I want to broke him. He flirts with every fucking girl, so I flirt with other guys.. but he is happy as fuck and it doesn't work so what i should have to do? please give me some serious advice to broke him mooooore.

x

Anonymous said...

Hi

I've got some photos of myself on an online dating site with blonde and brown hair. Some Aries guy is 'chatting' me up as follows.

Hi. I think you look great.... as a brunette :)

I wrote back some small talk.

Then he wrote
I think in the brunette you look a little like Pippa Middleton. If you go dark again I'll take you for a drink :)


Cheeky git, he is not even all that himself.

I'd love to write a cheeky response for some revenge.

Shall I just write back "er no thanks!!' or just not respond.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I could write.
And you get a wig and I will think about it.
Hahaha. No, that's nasty isn't it. Ahum.

Anonymous said...

The Aries guy has just written again after I didn't reply

So... do you have a pic of how you are now? :) and oh, btw, as a brunette you don't look 40 :)

He seriously thinks he is in with a chance. Each email is horrid though, with a nice bit and an insult!

I might write back.

Oh really. You look way older than 36 with your bald head and wrinkles.

Then block

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
They are something else, aren't they?

And yes, that's EXACTLY what I would do. Mirror his behavior. Write him back with, "Oh really. You look way older than 36 with your bald head. And apparently, you're also very shallow."

And block him.

I know it sounds harsh, however, the positives here are this:

1) He'll think twice before treating another woman like that with insults, so you're doing other women a favor

2) He'll realize that being an asshole isn't going to get him anywhere with women

And the simple fact is, be brought this shit on himself. Had it been one email he sent and said something like that and then disappeared, whatever.

But no, he's sent 3 emails like that with 3 insults and shallow behavior. I mean really, you like a girl enough to send 3 emails to her, but you insult her in each one - over her friggin haircolor?

How shallow is that?

Let him have it and then block him ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

OMG I just sent that exact response!!!! Part of me thought twice about blocking him, to see what he replied.... but I have blocked him, what a dickhead! I am out his league anyway. Knob head. Yeah, fingers crossed for the other women now ;-)

Anonymous said...

LEO MAN!

Hello, would you write about a LEO man?

Your blog is great!

Xoxo from Florida!

Anonymous said...

Hey Mirror,

I've just written and emailed an 11 page letter (which took me hoooooours) to the Relationship Coach I told you about who used Tarot and didn't advise at any point, to mirror, play hard to get, be unavailable, but her advice in fact rewarded him for his bad behaviour by recommending I be available at his beck and call, which made me more depressed as he saw how willing and keen I still was when he pulled up for air the first time, and sadly he took advantage of me (like Aries do when they play up).

Yes, I had been cool as cucumber when he first pulled up for air - 8 days I went no contacting him, then in walks the coach, and bang, chaos erupts and pain trying to get out of pain.

Ever since she entered my life, I have had 90% nothing but pain and chaos. I was vulnerable and taken in by her overselling of her qualifications, experience, her lies and false tarot predictions.

Whilst the letter will hurt the coach's feelings sadly, as it is critical.... I have sent it to try to ensure other women client's don't go through the same thing as me - which was disempowerment and painful experiences.

I would like the coach to retrain before doing anymore relationship coaching....her dating coaching advice is good and I said she should continue this because dating is fine as there is no love involved when attracting a mate, but once both parties are in love, to be a relationship coach is a position of immense responsibility.

I didn't send the letter to spread evil tongue and be nasty for the sake of it, but out of obligation for other women to not get hurt too.

Have I done the right thing writing the letter?

The shit thing is, I could have done it better myself without this woman's 'help' - as I would naturally have begun just playing hard to get when he first pulled up for air. It's not that difficult really is it, playing hard to get, you can't go wrong with that strategy lol.

I will never forgive this woman if he was my soulmate and I never marry - as he was the most important man I've ever met in my life and the best thing that ever happened to me. If I do marry, I will see the experience as needing to happen / fate.

Time will tell.

@AnonWoman

Anonymous said...

Mirror,

I wanted to seek your insight. I am an Aqua girl, fish, and I have been going back and forth with an Aries male for years. We go back and forth and always seem to find our way back to each other. We have an intense connection and it always seems to get muddled up with the details. Generally with him being insensitive and I Retract and disappear. He recently told me that he will want me forever and will always seek me out no mattter what and his feelings for me are so strong. I want to give it one last go, and give it a real shot (I have not told him this). If you have any advice I would love to read it. If it doesn't work out this time I am going to walk away forever and remember him as the love that was my soul mate, but couldn't make it work. Sometimes its just better that way:)

Thanks in advance

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Well a good place to start is with these 4 pieces:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2013/01/how-do-you-find-a-good-man.html

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/11/dating-when-why-how-use-no-contact-rule.html

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/11/how-to-say-no-dating-life-consequence.html

And if you'd like to read a few good books, pick up a copy of "Why Men Love Bitches" and "The Manual" by Steve Santagati ;-)

Anonymous said...

Sanjana,

Mr Aphrodite, I ignored my Aries crush for like 3 weeks and now he doesn't play fight with me anymore. At first he didn't talk to me but then became friendly all of a sudden which is quite surprising for me as he had never been that friendly with me for past 2 years. I don't know what he might be thinking about me right now. I'm confused.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror of Aphrodite.....

You may remember my post from a while back (around July/August 2012) about the arien female b*tch I had problems with....

Well she is playing nice as pie these days....

I don't act as if she is a friend of mine....just treat her like an acquaintance and go about other important things in my life. She invited me to another stupid birthday party....I said 'Nope, have hot yoga class.'

I'm happy that I finally managed to get the cajones to realize that she isn't the tough, hard-nosed, intimidating b*tch that she purported herself to be. She's just another ordinary person with a big mouth and ego that needs to be fed. I am simply polite and leave it at that....not interested in having any sort of friendship with her.

Just wondering....do Aries outright tell BOLDFACED LIES????? Or contradict themselves????

Even though she plays nice she still tells these outlandish stories that do little for her but give me, my boyfriend and our family pure comedic laughs. Such as these gems:

-She is a stay at home mom to three kids and claims to have THREE JOBS. Doesn't give much detail about those jobs....

-During high school she played soccer, ran track, did cheerleading, was a ballet dancer, straight A student.....also she was into hard drugs, got into school fights, began stripping at age 15, sold drugs to teachers....

-Her husband makes 30 grand a month....and she apparently makes almost as much with her three jobs. She boasts loudly on what she buys, or what jewelry her hubs buys for her, etc.

( I don't know but I don't need a man to buy me shit, I have an awesome career and can buy my own jewelry thank you very much)

Like give me a break...it's so painfully obviously that she is unhappy with the path she chose in life that she plays it up. The rest of us just consider her entertainment and laugh at her.

Her husband is a Pisces....very quiet and laid back and a pure saint that one....I give the marriage 5-10 more years.




The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Yes, Aries can fib to overcompensate for their shortcomings. Many tend to be more interested in the appearance they project rather than the truth, LOL.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous February 6, 2013 at 9:14 AM,

I'd rather a man/boyfriend/husband buy me jewelry any day over buying it myself! It gives it sentimental value!

Anonymous said...

That wasn't even my point......

Anonymous said...

well I am 37(Gemini) and he is 37 aries(april16)he chased me for 5 years. We hooked up in 2011 of feb. At first it was shakey because I did not know he was breaking up with someone else. Everything was good until july 2012. I started getting mad at him because he was not progressing in life. He barely worked and had 4 kids. I am a graduated student and he was thinking that when I graduate I was going to leave him. Sept 2012 he started cheating by text then he promised not to do it no more. Then jan 2013 I found out that he was cheating with a 20 year old for 4 months. A different girl. He told me it was all my fault because I did not make him feel like a man. I cried so bad much that I got sick. Two days later I changed my number, facebook, and locks. He had a key but did not live here. its been six weeks now and I have not contacted him and he have not contacted me. Two weeks ago my daughter told me that he posted a picture on facebook saying that he divorced me and was going to marry this little girl. His kids are 8,14,15,and 16. My question is do u think he will try to contact me? Do you think this relationship will work out? PLEASE HELP!!!!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Honey, I hope he doesn't contact you. This is a prime example of an insecure man right here. Insecure men do not feel good about themselves and as a result, they need lots of attention, female attention, to feel like a man.

His actions have absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his shortcomings as a man. I always warn women about insecure men - they make crappy boyfriends, lovers and husbands. And you can see it, see the pattern:

"At first it was shakey because I did not know he was breaking up with someone else."

Insecure men "transition" from one relationship to another because they fear being alone.

"He barely worked and had 4 kids."

They suck off of others and expect others to do all of the work. (Also a sign of sociopath "parasitic lifestyle.")

"He told me it was all my fault because I did not make him feel like a man."

He's an idiot. He never felt like a man to begin with because he could never bring himself to actually BE A MAN.

"Two weeks ago my daughter told me that he posted a picture on facebook saying that he divorced me and was going to marry this little girl."

Great. He's out to destroy another young life.

"His kids are 8,14,15,and 16."

It's so gross that his girlfriend is only 4 years older than his oldest child.

"My question is do u think he will try to contact me?"

God I hope not. But I imagine that yes, someday he will.

"Do you think this relationship will work out?"

No, LOL. He doesn't know how to maintain a real relationship. Relationships require work and compromise on both sides - none of which he's willing to do.

The only way that relationship will work - is if she supports him and accepts him cheating on her with other woman.

And that's the only way it'd work with you too.

Insecure men make crappy boyfriends and husbands and lovers - and they repeat these patterns over and over and over again and drain and exhaust and suck the life out of their partner.

If I were you - I'd throw a damn party and celebrate your liberation, LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...

I understand that but when you say some day that is so vague. Do you think this year perhaps? Why do you think he choose to stay with the 20 year old after I changed everything. Why didnt he fight for our relationship when was the one in the wrong? Why do you think he is with a 20 year old in the first place? Do you think he really love her thats what he told me anyway when I confronted him about the situation. I know that I should move on but I am so confused how he loved me so much for so long then cheat like this..

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Honey, I don't have a crystal ball (well actually I do but....LOL). I can't tell you exactly what's going on in this mans head and heart. But I can tell you he's insecure, that I do know.

It could be a year, a month, 8 months or a week. No one knows, probably not even him right now.

He cheated because he's insecure. And insecure men are selfish and needs lots of attention from other women to feel like men. He'll always most likely be a cheat unless he does some serious self awareness work.

He's with a 20 year old because he can get away with being lazy and being a cheat with a young, naive girl. Women his age won't tolerate his cheating and laziness.

He's not going to fight for the relationship...he's lazy and wants things easy. And when this 20 year old asks him to man up someday....he'll cheat on her and then blame her for making him do it...just like he did with you.

Be glad he's her problem now ;-)

Anonymous said...

its me again about the 37 year with the 20 year old. Feb. 8th post. Well he keeps posting pictures with this girl on friday and saturday which use to be our time togather. I want to confront him so bad. do u think I should? Also my daughter told me that this girl has 200 pictures on her wall with only one of him. But he is the one that keep posting all the pictures of her. She do not call him boo or anything, but he keeps bragging about her. what do you think this means. Is he the one in love with her and she is feeling him the same way. I mean for christ sake she is twenty...

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
"I want to confront him so bad. do u think I should?"

No. You have no right to do so. He does not have to answer to you. He is not your boyfriend, lover or husband and he is free to do whatever he wants.

He's obviously moved on and I think you should, too. Besides, he's a cheat. Attempting to draw him back into your life will only bring more pain upon yourself.

And then you will have no one to blame for that but yourself - because you permitted it.

findingU2become2 said...

It took (14) years of being single, meeting an Aries, an inability to manage my emotions, no clear understanding of my value and him circling back around nearly 10 months later TO FINALLY GET IT!

When we initially met he had just been dumped. Which I had understood at that time that he was rebounding and needed his ego stroked. He circled back around to me recently. I wasn't interested, and as every reader will guess, he chased me at full speed relentlessly! Eventually I agreed to have dinner. Having a good time was never an issue, and that night was no exception.

I ended up confusing 'physical attraction' with 'I have feelings for him'. I felt him pulling back as I became needy, but I didn't had no clue as 'how to' handle it and ever woman out there understands I clung to him even harder. The thing I do give him credit for is taking initiative to communicate with me. He was honest about his feelings and intentions, I wasn't confused about anything that we agreed on and was pretty content with our talk.

What I didn't have sight of was how broken I was. I didn't realize I kept attracting the same thing over and over because I was mirroring the image of myself. The realization was incredibly painful! I've never been so discusted, humiliated and disappointed in my behavior. I did cut myself some slack...I did the best I knew how to do at that time. Now that I know better, I will do better. It's been a slow process discovering the beautiful real me - baby steps.

Your website came at a crucial and critical time. You are wise and I feel the genuine empathy you have for each post you comment on. As I continue to define things, and take my power back I cannot resist delighting myself in the excitement. The excitement of finding
BEAUTIFUL ME!

My Aries and I (Libra) parted, and I'm not sure if its our ending or not. I do know should he circle back around he may not recognize ME as I didn't know who that was myself. He was the catalyst in some respect, but now...I got this!

Girls never forget U R wOrTh It! You'll only be as valuable to someone else as you are to yourself. Chin up...YOU got this!







AnonWoman said...

Findu2become2

I was touched by your story.

My Aries ex (born 5th April) changed me too, as I saw myself in the mirror.

"I felt him pulling back as I became needy, but I didn't had no clue as 'how to' handle it and ever woman out there understands I clung to him even harder. The thing I do give him credit for is taking initiative to communicate with me. He was honest about his feelings and intentions, I wasn't confused about anything that we agreed on and was pretty content with our talk."

I was happy with his honest talk with me too.

"What I didn't have sight of was how broken I was. I didn't realize I kept attracting the same thing over and over because I was mirroring the image of myself."

Could you describe this a bit more to me? What do you mean by you were attracting the same thing because you were mirroring the image of yourself? Do you mean, you had fear and doubt, so fear and doubt is what you created with him?

How much chasing you back did he do? Did you initially dump you the first time, or did you dump him? In those 10 months, had you gone into No Contact or had you contacted him? How long had you dated him the first time around?

Take care

findingU2become2 said...

@AnonWoman

Thank you! I've been a firm believer for some time that the truth doesn't set you free. It's the truth that you, that does.

I kept attracting a distinct type of man (emotionally unavailable). I didn't realize that I was struggling with the same trait myself. Most of the pattern had to do with the relationship, or lack thereof, with my Father. I was comfortable being a victim. I was comfortable blaming the man in my relationship. By doing both of those things I didn't have to face myself. Plus in my mind who was that anyway. I had people pleasing down to a science. There was always the idea that if I were perfect enough then I'd be loved. That never happened, it only produced one dysfunctional relationship after another. The endings to all of them were the same. The only common denominator in each one was me.

When my Aries (April 11th) circled back around he pursued me for two months before I agreed to meet him for dinner. I initially dumped him, he did everything to discourage me from breaking it off. He pleaded and actually convinced me to continue the relationship. What I didn't know then that I recognize now is, he was positioning himself to regain control.

I didn't use NC as I wasn't aware it existed. During the ten months we both periodically initiated contact. In October of 2012 he consistently started contacting me (most of which I ignored). Just as Mirror outlined, he only pursued me more. We dated for three months if it would even be considered that.

We were both emotionally unhealthy in different ways. It isn't surprising looking back that the outcome was what it was. Rather than dissect him, I'm working on me. I've not done much of that for myself, and I didn't because, I never thought I was worth it.






AnonWoman said...

hi findingu2become2

So sorry for my late reply, so late you may not even log back into this article now to read it.

But I wanted to that you sound really switched on.

If you had people pleasing down to a science, do you think that meant that you attracted a lot of men? But then couldn't keep them?

How are you trying to make yourself more emotionally available? Or is it just something you've realised....it's scary opening up if you haven't done that or been committed. Then again you were with aries a long time.

Have you heard from him since your last message to me?

I've not heard from my Aries ex since beginning of December 2012. A long time. I do miss him. Life is a little boring and mundane without his wonderful energy and charisma. But I have no pain anymore....it's just 'every day' life without him.

I really hope 2013 brings me some out of this world breathtaking excitement, I really need some.



Anonymous said...

Hello,

I am a 49 yr old Aries woman, who was dating a 48 year old Aries man until yesterday. We met online and things seemed to be going well in the beginning. However, it was my birthday last week and we went out to a nice restaurant and he spent a lot of money, but when I first came to his place before we left to go out, he didn't even say Happy Birthday. I had to say to him, aren't you going to wish me a Happy birthday,and then he did.
When we had a recent bad storm here, I texted him asking if he was okay as he works outside and I wasn't sure if he was home from work yet. I also had just told him that I drove home from work during a tornado warning and it was very scary. His response was, yes I'm safe and sound inside. He didn't even ask how I was.

My finances have been very tight ;lately as his have also, but mine have been worse. Like I said, up until about two weeks ago, things were okay, aside from not being considerate those two times, he really was funny and we seemed to get along well. Well, I began to hear from him less and this past week, he only contacted me once. Finally, we had tentative plans to get together this past weekend and when things weren't finalized, I called him. He didn't seem to care if we got together or not and I mentioned this to him, and finally he said, "I don't see this relationship going anywhere." So I asked him what made him say that, and his response was "You don't contribute enough financially to this relationship." I thought that was bullshit. This was all going on over the phone, so I told him that this was not the kind of thing to talk about over the phone. Of course, he said that he would call me later and he never did. It's killing me, but I'm not calling him. I can't stop thinking about him though.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

¥Anonymous,
Screw him. He's a lazy man and he just sounded like a gold digger there, LOL...breaking up with someone because they don't have enough money.

There's a remedy for that on his part...don't date. I have male friends that know they don't have the funds to treat a woman as they know she deserves to be treated and in a way that would make them feel like a man and you know what they do?

They don't actively date because of it. Instead, they've set dating aside temporarily and they're working on bettering their personal situation instead.

They're not placing their "stuff" onto the woman...they're working on their situation so they can do it right. And until that happens, they're not pursuing women and actively dating.

Anonymous said...

How do you get revenge on a male libra?

Anonymous said...

hello,so i followed your advice and ignored the aries male completely.he has now sent me a text asking why,how do i respond to this? also i am remembering to not immediately reply so please advise me on what to say before i blow it,aim is winning him back so please help

cazknits said...

I'm a Sag female with Scorpio juno and north node.

I'm not a dating scene woman at this moment and I am unattainable because currently I'm going through a divorce (final in May) and I'm the anchor for my kids. This is more to do with my stupid mistakes or possible stupid mistakes with an Aries male friend I truly like. I want to handle him accordingly.

cazknits said...

Continued

Here's the history. I know his ex-wife and his past marriage. I know his two kids because they know my three kids. I ran into him last summer at our church and he is always dating some new girl like he changes his underwear. He's on girlfriend forgot count since his own marriage ended in 2010. At first, I didn't care for him much. I love his kids. I could cuff him for some of his stupid antics.

Last Christmas we became Facebook friends. It turns out we have a lot in common with interests and our kids being at the same school. I've tried to avoid his dating life and focus on our kids and our involvement in our church.

I think I might have screwed up telling him too many things about my messed up marriage. I usually keep emotional crap to myself but I felt he was listening to me so I spoke about it. I'm used to having male friends more than female friends. I'm coming out of a bad DV marriage and the Aries male friend is a State Police trooper...fitting huh? He gives me advice to speak to a female friend or a church elder and I took it over sensitively. I avoided him on Facebook for a good few weeks...I was going to set him straight. I did eventually. He told me he has a lot of compassion for me. I told him I have a lot of compassion for his kids. lol I told him our past marriages are now off limits topics and keep it to our kids and church. I agreed with him after it took me weeks to come around to his thoughts too.

Now he's in a LDR with a girl in Boston. Remember he changes girlfriends like he does his underwear. This is totally recent development like the first date with her he brings his son because it's a hockey game. I wished him a happy birthday and no response. If I run smack into him...its hi how you doing?

I'm knitting his kids hats as I promised back in December. I wrote him a message on FB told him about the hats and one more off-limits topic his dating life so I blocked the new girlfriend on FB. And I told him so. He dates constantly and I'm avoiding the dates. It's like he gets bored too easy and too busy with his crazy work schedule. I just dislike his shallow type of behavior. I could smack him for it really especially since he takes his kids on his first date.

I'm very over the top protective of my own children since my soon ex-husband's abuse of me and our kids. I will refuse to let my kids see me date anyone when my divorce goes through. I want them to have a quiet mommy time without all that dating nonsense. At some point I will date again but without my kids knowing anything.

I guess the Aries male guy I like...I don't know what to make of him right now. I told him in my latest message that I am not going into the dating scene and my expectations are high. I want a best friend, protector, who likes me enough to spend time with me, enjoys the same things I do and solves problems like I do or comes up with out of nowhere ideas I do. I am avoiding his dates.

I just miss him being around, its frustrating, and now this LDR has taken priority in his life. I'm ready to just take twenty steps back. He used to post a lot of church and bible oriented posts and I would like them on Facebook. I would like his music too because he would post songs.

I'm just concerned I'm getting to attached to him because I see a best friend in him and I don't want to screw anything else up!

Am I on the right track here?

I don't tell him what I am thinking in terms of liking him because it's hard for me to put it into words and I don't need to have him do the stupid reappear disappear act with me. I know the rubber band theory.
If he did that disappear reappear act on me I know where he lives and I'd shoot the rubber bands at him. Hopefully nail him between the eyes. lol

I'm not sure where to go from here. How to I prevent further mistakes with my Aries male friend?

cazknits said...

I'm not looking for revenge on the Aries male I like. I'm just not comfortable on how attached I've become to him. Especially since I've seen his marriage blow up, he's seen my marriage blow up. He's in this LDR with some girl in Boston. I know it won't last because he keeps playing the field.

I'm trying to put him out if my mind. I never liked him to begin with and now I'm charmed by him until he does another stupid antic.

Sigh... Thanks for listening. xxx

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@cazknits,
"How to I prevent further mistakes with my Aries male friend?"

With an Aries, it's best to be independent, a bit sparky and resistant and basically see if they pursue you (they despise being pursued and if they do entertain it at all, it's simply for an ego boost).

An Aries goes after that which he desires:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/01/experiences-with-aries-male.html

Anonymous said...

hi ive been reading these posts but i couldnt find how could u really hurt an aries male. i have been dating him for almost five yrs and for d first time in our relationship he confessed(i made him confess) that he had slept with a whore while i was away. these really hurt me thst he could actually cheat on me. i wanted to hurt him as much as hurt me.even told him that i cheated on him too but he wont believe it. i wanted him to feel the pain he caused me but how do i do that?-k

Iman Williams said...

WOW! Hilarious and a great read. I learned this method pretty quickly but the crazy things is with me being a Libra and my boyfriend being a 35 year old Aries male who acts like he is 19, we bump heads quite often. He has a Libra moon and Aquarius Rising so it is almost like talk to an Air sign sometimes but for the most part, he acts like an aries. He's March 25 aries so not the same as April (thank God). He will listen to me when I tell him the things he does but like many Aries, if he thinks he can weasle his way out of that argument, he will try his hardest to turn it on me and make it all about me when it's truly about what he did. Luckily for me, I'm quick with my thoughts and words so I would shut him down immediately and all he would say is "You win, I can't win for losing with you. You are too headstrong." He has to get up pretty early in the morning to get over on me. We having had any real problems since we made out relationship official (2 years in July) but when we first met...oh the communcation was God awful. Now we can't stay away from each other :)

Iman Williams said...

Hey, also @Mirror of Aphrodite you and my Aries boyfriend are from the same city and state! Cool! If you see him roaming, let me know LOL

Anonymous said...

This is crazy but i used to go with this aries man now hes just my friend but i recently started a female group and it seems like its his group now.i made him manager because he has alot of connections withmusic producers.i had four girls in my group and now theirs only two which is me and my friend because he kicked them out for something extremely petty. he is very insensitive rude and is always hanging up on people when he doesn't want to hear what they have to say.it feels like hes taking over everything hes highlyimpatient and anytime i speak my mind he doesn't listen and tells me he doesn't want to work with me he gets mad over little things and i have to to just deal with it so i can fulfil my dream and it just started to be like that with him going back and forth idont know what to do at this point can you please help me??

cazknits said...

I completely screwed up with the Aries male friend. He's acting all temper flaring and I didn't do anything wrong. I'm completely avoiding him. Is walking away from any argument okay? I'm learning why he got divorced. He just went all off on me. I'm hoping to completely disappear...off his radar completely.
Mirror, if you're around I need help here. I just want to redeem myself really. The problem is we live in a small town. We run into each other frequently. I don't follow him. I don't show up on his doorstep. I don't tell him anything in confidence. I stay away from his LDR. He wrote me on Facebook going all off on me...accusing me of doing the direct opposite as I stated above...I do not bother him at all. Yet he acts like I am. Why take it out on me?

Is this normal to be an arrogant ass? Is he trying to test me or something? My only response was no problem and take care to his really off base accusing message on Facebook. He said I was constantly messaging, he is dating someone it was inappropriate I message him (I don't message him at all, unless I saw him in town) said he was not my personal confidante (I never said anything to him so this is very off base), and I only spoke about his house because he's not at the church and when I finish the hats I know where to drop them off, the hats I am knitting his kids as promised. He went really wacky telling me not to go to his house. I have not been to his house so he shouldn't worry about that. It's like he just only wanted to accuse me of something when I haven't been doing anything at all.


I could have set him straight but it seemed pointless. I don't get it. I just avoided any argument with him. He doesn't seem to understand me or my way of thinking. I acknowledged his message but why explain to him he is wrong? He'll just continue his tantrum. I restricted him on Facebook. He can't see my posts. I just want to leave it be...is this the right away to go?

Maybe I invaded his turf? I'm not talking to him at all. I'm completely giving him space and hoping he'll think about what he just did to me rationally and realize I am staying away from him on purpose so he can't accuse me of anything else...like an earthquake or something. lol

Geez, I hope I don't run into him again. I'm scared of him now and his anger! The town is small and it's not my fault we cross paths. :-

cazknits said...

Back again, I'm giving the Aries male friend a taste of his own medicine. I'm finishing knitting those hats for one. I will give those to his kids as planned and he can eat those hats for all I care. I will set his ass in his place in August. I'm giving myself time to completely put my divorce behind me. My top priority is my children not this Aries friend being a right ass. I'm determined to prove him so wrong that he's going to regret every damn ass word he said to me in his message! His message was completely based on false information. I have my own life. I take care of my own children day in and day out. I have my own house to go to and not his! I have a therapist as a personal confidante. He needs to seriously think first before he opens his damn mouth! I would never ever allow his behavior that he displayed towards me around any children. I am a mom first and foremost. Not his doormat to take his everyday anger out on! I have plenty of good people to back me up and he is so wrong! He thinks I have nothing else to do but worship the ground he walks on...no he's wrong and I will tell him so in August! I'm taking time to just avoid him and his stupidity completely. He'll get what is coming to him all right!
Btw, I am a triple Sagittarius with all kinds of Scorpio influence and he messed with the wrong woman! I'm a full on Momma Bear too! xxxx

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous May 17, 7:58 PM,
You need to fire/ask him to step down as your manager, regardless of his connections. Was it your dream to kick out the other two women? Was it your dream to be verbally assaulted by your manager? I imagine it wasn't.

It's apparent that he's not going to aid you in reaching your dream - because he's already blown your dream apart.

Additionally, in the world of business, professionalism reigns. And hanging up on people because you don't like what they are saying is not professional. Nor do you want an individual like that representing YOU. As a manager, he's a representative of your band - and is that the impression that you want to give people of your band? Is that the type of personality that CREATES business relationships and cultivates them? Nope.

He's got to go dear. It's your band, take it back.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@CazKnits,
Have you read this piece: http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/01/experiences-with-aries-male.html

If things went as you said and this came out of nowhere, my guess would be that his GF questioned him about his association with you and he became extremely defensive. Possibly even to make her jealous. Aries love a good game sweetie. They are ruled by the God of War, Mars, and they love a good tiff.

Read that other piece I referenced above and you'll gain a bit more insight.

cazknits said...

Do you know what gets me the most? He 'thanked me for understanding' and 'he'll pray for my family' (because of what we are dealing with divorce and all) this was at the very end of his way off base message to me accusing me of all sorts of crap stated in my above messages. (i.e. I don't go to his house. I have my own house to go to. I have my own therapist and support group, not him, no I don't constant message him at all!)

I restricted his view on my Facebook page so he can't see a thing. He can see public posts and I never post publicly! Now get this his page keeps showing up at the top of my friends list.

I'm avoiding him completely. I mean it. I see him in town I will walk right by and avoid him completely. I'm wondering why he's showing up on my page really. His message made it perfectly clear to stay away so I am.

I only said, no problem and take care. Why bother telling him any different when he doesn't listen to me! He based his message on false info to begin with!

Yeesh.

I'm looking at this thread to you suggested. I am avoiding him because he went way overboard on me and I won't give him anymore ammo to make up and throw at me. He can stay restricted until August on my Facebook...or until I get my point across in public months from now.

What a right ass! *shakes head*

cazknits said...

I read the topic Mirror. Sounds like I did the right things shutting him out for a bit. I'm not adding anymore fuel to his anger. I will keep him restricted on Facebook. I'm guessing he's going to come back around again?

I'll set him in his place in my own due time. I probably did tell him a few too many things five months ago about my messed up marriage. I hadn't done that again and started to not tell him anything. And then that wacky message of his...I have no time for his stupidity either.

The message was from out of nowhere. I'm staying away right now. Btw, he's still on the top of my friends list on Facebook. He can't see a thing! ;-)

Thank you for your time Caz xxx

cazknits said...

I'm confused. He told me off in his out of nowhere message, why keep me as a friend? Why keep appearing in my friends list on Facebook? His message was very off base. Does this mean he's going to regret the crap he just did to me or is he looking for a way to throw more anger at me?

I need to make sure I'm on the right pathway here.....

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@CazKnits,
As there's no way one can read the mind of another individual, only time and observation will answer those questions.

cazknits said...

I have an update tomorrow...you will be very proud! ;-)

cazknits said...

I'm back again. Ran into Aries male friend at a baseball game. Our boys were playing against each other. I avoided him completely.

Our kids, however, were happy to see each other!

I kept my distance completely. I focused on my kids and spoke to his kids. Well, it worked. As I was walking to snack shack, Aries male friend gets off the bleachers and HE said hi to me, he approached ME. He seemed all nice and friendly. In a cool and calm manner, I took back control. I informed him outright, I have no reason to go to his house. I have a therapist and support group plus many people to talk to so no, he's NOT my personal whatever he called himself. He said, I just wanted you to not to message me as much. You alluded that you were going to (go to my house). I corrected him and told him straight, I was talking about the hats I am knitting for your kids and where to deliver them since you're not at church. And then, I ended the conversation and told him to THINK before he speaks! He has me all wrong! I've been through enough. I restricted him on Facebook to avoid anymore problems because he misunderstood me!

I walked away and the ass followed me to the snack shack. I continued to avoid him the rest of the time there. ;-)

He's not restricted from my Facebook page. I will continue to correct him every chance I get for now on. He should be ashamed of himself for judging me the way he did. My kids are my first priority and not him!

Thank you for your help. Hope I verbally sparred him okay! I wasn't rude like he was in his message! Hopefully he'll figure out eventually our kids like each other! He should rub two brain cells together and create a think wave or two before speaking to me again!

Anonymous said...

Please I need your help is it possible you can write an article on how to get revenge on a libra man

I need your help please!

Iman Williams said...

LOL being that I AM a Libra @Anonymous...I'm just curious as to what YOUR sign is and what the Libra did. I may not be Mirror (who gives GREAT advice) but just curious. Maybe I can offer some advice of some sort.

Anonymous said...

Leo woman here. and just went threw the ringer with a aries man. i use the term MAN lightly. 53 years old and a player is more like it. a punk. he had me with hello. well tonight I roared. I let him know what i know and even called him a snake. but i thank you for this page. because I ended my night by texting him sweet dreams :) and a little saying he use to say to me that made my knees buckle. i hope and PRAY he comes back for more.. i doubt it as I so let him know I got his number. But ty ty ty. I will know next time if i ever encounter a aries man just what they like. I will say i really like the aries man. just didnt know all this. I hope he returns lol.. im gonna chew him up and spit him out. Mind you im gonna taste every drop of his ego... whew happy Leo woman here . a game is what he will get. oh and he will chase me to the end of the world.. sweetness will be a given. but ill drive him nuts. and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Aries men are Amazing men. If you know all this you might just have a chance to snag one.. :)))))))

Lady Leo said...

I am a Leo woman and I have no affection for Aries men. Meh! I've attracted 4 different Aries this year alone. Ego ego ego and so immature. Infants of the zodiac, for sure. And the Aries moon (sag sun) man that I was quite smitten was was a d!ck too. His moon was a whiny azzed baby. Very difficult to deal with such ego driven infants!

Anonymous said...

The Aries I dated the first time. Did not express a bad Ego..Other than the fact he knew he was great in Bed .. and Well i Don't think that's an Ego issue.. Was Just plain FACT!!!! I never in my life was treated so sweet , so well. Nothing on this earth that man wouldnt have done for me.I had to make him do for himself thinking it was for me. wild but true! STill two years later my pic hangs on his wall. Why? I dont know unless he is still kicking himself for losing me. and yes he lost me. Yes he had control issues, jealousy issues that were scary and totally out of line. but all in all He was a wonderful loving man whom i Adored and loved. this Aries that i just had a fallin out with. well Ego should be his middle name.and I dont know if he Bragged on his talents if he was telling truth we didnt get there. I am glad i read this article because i like the Aries man alot. so loving and caring when they are in love. but to the Aries men on here saying they always get back up and win in the end. Bullsht. They might lick their wounds and move on. But I bet cha bottom dollar and Be forewarned ARies man. Dont mess with a leo woman or she will leave a mark on you that will run deep. I hope i End up with a Aries Man... winks Sue me!!!

CrystalWaters said...

hi Mirror,

Aries seem to be the perfect man for a woman, when they're in love and committed. Am I right?

What other signs are the knights for a woman and can make her happy? Or to put it another way, the heartbreakers that when they've gone you feel so lost?

For me it's Aries, Leo and Pisces.

Do you have any insight?

Best,
CW (Virgo)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@CrystalWaters,
You might want to purchase an excellent book:

http://www.amazon.com/Sextrology-The-Astrology-Sex-Sexes/dp/0060586311

By far the most insightful book I've ever read on the topic of astrology with 40 plus pages for EACH sign of the Zodiac, broken down by sex - one large profile for males and one for females of each sign - because females and males will display the overall "energy" of their sign in different ways.

And according to Sextrology:

Aries Male - The One (the ONLY ONE err. .on the planet, LOL ;-)

Taurus Male - The Idol (as in worship me)

Gemini Male - The Goodfellow (as in mobster "wise guy")

Cancer Man - The Player (wild emotional swings)

Leo Man - The Natural (as in All American Boy)

Virgo Man - The Vehicle (that propels things forward)

Pisces Man - The Drifter (and the "poet" of the Zodiac, a mix of all signs preceding him)

Aquarius Man - The Visitor (a bit quirky)

Capricorn Man - The Stickler (as in picky)

Sagittarius Man - The Maverick (as in unrestrainable)

Scorpio Man - The Stranger (as in very deep and dark, so much that you may never know)

Libra Man - The Character (rather self-explanatory, LOL)

CrystalWaters said...

Hi Mirror,

I have that book but haven't read it, well, just the Aries section!

Sounds like it is

1) Aries
2) Taurus / Leo and Pisces then

I was almost right :)

How annoying that Aries says 'The One.' I have @AnonymousMale's fear from the Dumpee blog, that in 20 years time, I hope I am not regretting my mistakes of listening to others but not myself and regretting the one (Aries male) I loved (still love) that got away.

Anonymous said...

@Crystal Waters
How old are you, may I ask? You still love your man but yiu haven´t been dating for quite long, right? Since then you´ve changed as well as he, you are a bit different people now. What I mean to say, it´s wonderful that you still love him, although you love your ideal vision of him, not real him. I´ve been in a similar phase in my love life, it took me years!!! to disconnect from him and move on and I am happy now that it finally happened. I understand you but don´t focus on him too much and get on with your life. Find a real man, perhaps "only" a friend to start with and life will show you the right way. Good luck to you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror, am 24 years old & a Libra female
This is going to be real long, please have patience with me. I have this guy in ma life who i've been dating since 4 years now (2009), he's an Aries. I met him in a club n when first I was a flirt n I liked da way he was staring at me from far top to bottom but I showed as if I hadn't noticed him, however later we danced together & shared numbers, he contacted me after a week & it went pretty normal & we got into a relationship.. After 6 months I gotto know that he lied to abt where he was workin, I forgave him after a lot of confrontation, he repeatedly kept lying to me there after abt every lil thing, gradually I also took up a grudge & started lying to him, I dated another & made him see that too he went mad & he has this very bad habit of cryin when I yell at him.. I've always been dominating by nature, that's how i've been brought up by ma mother who's a single parent.. I dominate on him & show him I dont have less men to be in ma life but he just doesn't let go off me, he begs me, gets down to his knees n cries, kisses ma feet & all this melts me up n I forgive him again.. Again after a few days he'll upset me sayin somethin very annoyin n I end up yellin at him, he'd again cry n beg.. Wheneva I broke up with him he'd call n text me frantically almost everyday.. We broke up & patched up a lot of times in these 4 years.. Last year that is 2012 I really got tormented by his lies n I dumped again n got into a relationship with an old crush of mine, this guy gave me all da attention, all da time, all da love, all da pamperin stuff that i always wanted, he turned into a psycho later n at da back of ma mind I had ma aries guy runnin thinkin what he must be doin, who he wud be with.. Ultimately I want da aries guy around me, I love him too much, he's like a drug I just cant be without.. So i broke up & a week later i patched up with ma aries guy on april this year.. When we first met we had decided to take it casual but it went too deep, so deep that he says he only wants to marry me n am just his.. He also has Premature Ejaculation which upsets me but he doesn't leave me unsatisfied.. I totally want this guy n i've stopped flirtin around or being even with his guy but its gettin worst, he's dominatin on me nowadays, I was away on a trip with ma family for a month n he'd gimme too less attention, I really thrive for his attention.. I do not trust him, I always feel after a fight i wont call him but i end up callin n blastin at him.. I felt he's da only guy who has put up with me for so long n has been constantly behind me, i've beaten him up in public & humiliated him a lot oof times but he'd still not give up on me.. I felt all this is his love for me but after readin ur blog I wonder whether he really loves me or was i just another game.. Am his first girlfriend & he's neva had sex with anybody else, I trust him in that atleast.. He still lies to me n goes out clubbin with his male friends, We have so many mutual friends that I get to know it that he's with his guy friends at a club n when i'd blast at hhim he'd start fightin then cryin that am treatin him like a puppet & servant n what not.. I really love this guy n want to marry him but not with all these crazy tormentin behavior of his.. Please advice me if I shud go ahead with this guy ..? Da fact is that I cant leave him too, he's met ma complete family too.. Only way i can prevant him from comin back into ma life is me moving outta this city.. And i cant leave this city leavin ma mom alone, she doesn't wanna leave this city for her own reasons.. Please gimme a solution help me change him.. I apologize for such a long mail but I really wanted to share it all with u as I felt u can understand & gimme da ryt advice.. What do i do :'( please help..

CrystalWaters said...

hi Anonymous June 15, at 3:12pm

I am 39. The Aries and I split up last fall and then I saw him end of October 2012 but didn't meet up with him again until May 2013 after 4.5 months of silence.

I don't think people can always be too different after just a few months apart, one partner may be but not always both.

May I ask when you suggested I find a 'real man?' Have I given you the impression he is not a real man? Or do you mean a real man not just a vision of the ideal love? If so I totally agree with. That's what I'm starting to be open to doing and a nice caring guy may come to ask me out in time I hope. Friends first in some cases. I have dated a few guys at the beginning of 2013 but I met them on the internet (dating site), so I didn't enjoy the experience and came off. It's for some people but not everyone and I'm in the latter category. Now I'm taking things more naturally and open to offers.

Thanks
CW

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous June 16, 1:25AM,
"help me change him"

That's never going to happen dear. You can't change other people, you can't control other people - you can only control yourself and your reaction to them.

I don't think you're seeing his habitual lying for what it truly is - it's pathological. He's a pathological liar. When someone lies about even small, minor issues, they're a pathological liar - and you're never going to change that dear. A pathological liar lies compulsively, habitually and chronically. It's a lifestyle and it's generally found in folks who suffer from a compulsive disorder (uncontrollable behavior) and an inability to cope with problems:

"Pathological liars repeatedly use deceit as an ego defense mechanism, which is primarily caused by the lack of ability to cope with everyday problems in more mature ways."

And it can go hand in hand with sociopathic personality disorder:

"Causes. . .Personality disorders such as Sociopathic, Narcissistic, Borderline, Histrionic."

"Sociopath: Social and charming. A con-artist with more criminal traits than violent ones. Disregard for law, authority and the rights of others. Pathological liars. Parasitic lifestyle, sucking off of others. Promiscuous sexual behavior, lack of long term relationships (friendship, romantic or otherwise), impulsive and irresponsible, prone to boredom."

"Narcissist: Elitist and loves to be adored and admired. Feels entitled. Grandiosity and inflated self-image. Arrogant and egotistical."

This is compounded by your overwhelming masculine energy in the relationship. Bottom line dear: This relationship is TOXIC and extremely unhealthy. This is NOT how two people express love and show care for one another. Domination and pathology are not healthy forms of expression. This relationship is extremely damaging to both of you and it is self-destructive.

My advice would be to spare yourself and him the torment and unhappiness of the self-destructive toxicity here.

Anonymous said...

@Crystal Waters
Sorry if my post sounded confusing, I didn´t mean to imply that your man wasn´t a real man. I wanted to say that perhaps it would be better to look for a man who would be more willing to date you in the real world. Almost 5 months of waiting is quite a long time for a young woman like you. I think that although it´s perfectly possible and not so uncommon to love somebody without actually dating him, I don´t think it´s good when it lasts too long. I myself have spend several years loving somebody who I thought loved me as well and only later in life did I understand that although partly it was true love, partly it was my illusion I had about this man. I don´t regret anything now as it was a learning experience, but in hinsight I think I should have focused on meeting other men sooner than I did. That´s why I responded to your post. Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror.. This is 24 years old female again, had mailed u previously abt ma aries man..
I thank u whole heartedly for ur advice & I totally agree with what u mentioned abt his behavior.. He's exzctly like what u said, Sociopathic, Narssistic & all that... Doesn't know how to face any problem in his life, gets bored very soon, gets distracted in a jiffy..

I tried ma best to put sense in him but it just doesn't work with him! He understands nothin but leave him alone for a while n he comes out totally as how I expect him to be.. Is that just to fake me up or what, I can neva say... I love him too much.. I wish he cud eva understand & be matured.. He's 26 but is a baby..

CrystalWaters said...

hi Anonymous June 16, 2013 at 1:10 PM,

I thought you meant real man as in a man in the real world, but was just double checking.

Yes I did kinda wait for him during those five months. Yes I dated others for a few weeks but stopped as really I only wanted him.

However, since seeing him again last month, of late, my heart is getting to a different place on him - and that's starting to see things differently. In a more objective way. I am currently in a state of wanting to live in the moment and meet someone else, because, the chance of my ex returning and treating me how he used to whilst we were together (amazing for most of it until near the end), is so incredibly slim.

I've actually changed my mind on him this past week. That's a good thing. I've been like this before, changed my mind away from him but it doesn't last long and I end up loving him again. However, this time, because I saw him last month and it didn't go as well as I thought it may have, then I can move on a notch to getting him out of my heart more.

Mirror does not also agree with me that I've told him why I'm cutting him off either, or so I feel. But I was sick of him because of what he said to me and I didn't want him thinking it was acceptable.

It's all done now.

I don't want to dream about him anymore. I feel the tide turning as I haven't dreamed of him the last week, so I hope it continues in this way.

CrystalWaters said...

To Anoymous June 16, 2013 at 1:10 PM

P.S. - Feels sad but a relief to not be thinking about him all the time now, because he doesn't deserve my love. His actions aren't there. I'm moving on...already caught the train...I don't even mind being on this train either which is the great thing and I mean it - finally.

Anonymous said...

@CrystalWaters
Thanks for replying. I am glad to hear that you are starting to see him more objectively. From what I remember, your relationship was quite passionate and romantic, right? You didn´t reach the phase of doing mundane and sometimes boring things together, right? It is a well known fact that passion blinds. When I was younger I always looked for passion and when I found it the relationship was too exhausting in the long run, in other words, it didn´t work out well. I also am learning to look at relationships more realistically. Good luck to you.

CrystalWaters said...

@Anoymous June 20 2013 at 5:49pm

Yes it was passionate, and exhausting when we had late nights. But at weekends, I felt incredibly relaxed and so incredibly happy in his company. I was thinking the other night, as I cried myself to sleep (I do that now and again, not that often though, hardly at all!) how he made me the happiest I've ever, ever been in my life.

I just mucked it up not pulling away and disappearing after we finished twice.

It's so long ago now. Last time we 'had sex'/'made love' was July 2012 when we ended then the only other physical thing again by way of a kiss was May 2013. I had seen him a few times again and was in a lot of contact till December 2012. Anyway, I mucked it up as I say, not disappearing on him or mirroring.

Unusual for me, as I'd done that with the boyfriend before my ex, and it made him want me more. Never mind now. Got to think positive, but yes, as you can tell, at times, like the other night, I do still have feelings for the ex in my heart.

Anonymous said...

@CrystalWaters
I understand you and feel for you. I dont´t think though that you made any serious mistakes with him so in my opinion you shouldn´t blame yourself at all. I firmly believe that when you meet "your man", he will survive mistakes like those you made with your ex. Maybe at first he will behave similarly to your ex, but on second thoughts he will return to you. Tell yourself that your ex did you a favour because now you are free to meet a man who will not give up when obstacles appear. And the fact that you felt so wonderful with your ex just indicates that you are the kind of person who is able to feel like that,he just triggered those feelings in you, but actually they are your feelings, he didn´t "give" them to you. I am sure you will meet even a better man you will feel happy with and who won´t leave you, because after all that´s the most important thing, isn´t it? You will find a man who will stick with you no matter what, I am sure about it.

CrystalWaters said...

hi Anonymous June 22, 2013 at 2:43pm,

Do I know you? Did you read my whole story from before because I changed my name from @AnonWoman to @CrystalWaters?

You do say lovely things, different things.

"And the fact that you felt so wonderful with your ex just indicates that you are the kind of person who is able to feel like that,he just triggered those feelings in you, but actually they are your feelings, he didn´t "give" them to you"

Yes, but, he never pi&&ed me off like some guys when it was good as he was so almost perfect... so he enabled me to bring out those feelings in me?

"Maybe at first he will behave similarly to your ex, but on second thoughts he will return to you."

Yes, I'm pretty sure a future man may return because I won't make the same mistake twice by contacting an ex who ended it with me, or ending it with a guy because he wasn't behaving, then changing my mind the same day thus still showing I accepted his bad behaviour. I realise that he wasn't as deeply in love with me as I thought because not enough time had passed, so some of the strategies that Mirror advocates (No Contact and Mirroring) were not put in place by me. Had they been, I believe he would be here now. Because he was into me (Aries are very full on and all or nothing, well my experience with them they are as they have ideals of a fairytale love) yeah he was into me where if I never even answered my phone he'd be ringing it an hour later, then again....I just should have done No Contact and Mirroring at the point when he was confused but was in that place with me where I was still his girl.

So yes, I agree, if another man does leave me IF I loved him and had showed him enough to have made him feel wonderful and he had me, he would come back as I will play a different tune this time.

"You will find a man who will stick with you no matter what, I am sure about it."

How can you be sure? Curious...or are you just being super lovely. Nice to meet you anyway...




Anonymous said...

@CrystalWaters
Yes, I am sure you will meet your man because you are a nice woman, you try to learn from your mistakes and avoid them in the future and above all, you desire a loving relationship. Why shouldn´t your dream come true then? My impression is that you are hesitant as what exactly you want and do in the near future, at the moment you are still stuck on your ex so naturally you don´t feel like moving on. Maybe you could look at your situation like this: If you hadn´t made the mistakes with your ex, are you absoltutely sure the relationship would have progressed successfully? No,you can´t be sure about it. Imagine it had developed into something worse than you wanted. Maybe you would have been the one to end it. You can´t know what would have happened if you have behaved differently. Maybe he would have been with you longer, maybe you would have started to plan your wedding and maybe he would have met another woman right before the wedding and left you. It would have been much worse for you. I think the best thing for you now is to move on, not analyze anything anymore, meet new people, plan a nice holiday, etc. And deep in your heart long for the man who will stay. And your desire will come true.

Anonymous said...

i used to have a really close aries friend whom i confided in. now we no longer get along, there was never any fight i just slowly phased out the friendship. i cannot stomach the friendship, it feels she not my friend to BE my friend, but she has some goal or something she wants to accomplish like getting information out of me about other people. i dont feel she truly liked me for me.

when she gets mad she starts pulling some really nasty and underhanded behaviour that gets me thinking not that she is infantile and 'baby of the zodiac' as you describe....but that she is as an evil and cruel demon spawn with no moral scruples or remorse to speak. like outing peoples deepest darkest most embarrassing secrets.

anyways i get the nagging feeling that she 'outed' my personal business to more than a few people. she has 'outed' others to me when she was mad at them.

And me being a loving taurus, i never outed any of her deep secrets and never will. ive thought about revenge techniques, but i always come back to not saying anything at all or even really acknowledging her.

CrystalWaters said...

Hello Anonymous from June 23, 2013 at 12:31 PM,

Thanks for your message. It was interesting to read. You are perhaps right in one sense, we could have almost got married and he left me. But rather than him leaving me for another woman before the wedding, as you suggested, no I don't think he'd have done that. He is very committed to one woman at a time and to me, even if that was thinking about how we weren't working, or how we were, he was thinking of me and no one else and is very faithful in every way.

But I do think, you could be right that we could have planned for a wedding and he left me before hand as he would still contemplate and agonise over whether I was right for him or not. Now that, would have been a real possibility yes, and yes, one I hadn't thought of. So thanks for planting that thought into my head.

I work too much and don't socialise enough is my problem. Probably because there aren't tonnes of people I know around my age that are single and I work in a small firm now. My friends are single older ladies mainly or married with families.

I need to start getting out there more. But work took over, I've been thinking about the ex, but now I am really, really, really starting to try and change my mindset on him. To think negatively about him rather than dream. To think horrid thoughts at times, like : he is a wan&er, he did this, he disrespected me, I let him disrespect, to&&er for doing XYZ". I think this is actually healthy.

You see, a lot of married women don't pine over their ex's after a short time, they think similar thoughts or just put it in the past. I think it's healthy as it will keep up my resolve if he did contact me NOT to respond (like I always freaking have in the past like a soppy dog) unless he initiates a "talk".

In fact, whilst I have lowered myself by letting him walk over me, now I feel like I am back to where I was when he first ended it with me. Which is, who the hell does he think he is treating me like that, I'll show him.

So, if he did get back in touch, THAT is the stance I will take now. Yes, it may not have the same effect in kicking his butt by making him think because he won't be into me as much or attached if he returned....but, it's a good place to be in. That people (me) CAN change back to being tougher again with men like I have demonstrated in the past. I CAN get my dignity back. So I will continue not thinking about him by filling my mind with other thoughts (which I'm now more in a place to do as I'm not living a life of pain now, it only comes back momentarily) and being this person I should have been with him when he first ended it with me.

cazknits said...

Okay Mirror,

The Aries Guy I Like...did a reappearing thing on me. No more off base messages. I avoided him completely until I ran smack into him at the sauna at the YMCA. He scared me too. I'm standing there in my bathing suit and he's in shorts after running on the treadmill. I didn't think his LDR girlfriend would be too happy about me being around. She's in Boston and not near where we live!

I started having a usual normal conversation...about our kids and he was chatty too. It dawned on me. His off base message in May to me on FB was more about him getting angry at being at the other church and not our church! He took it out on me.

I tried not to bother him but he kept insisting I wasn't bothering him. It also dawned on me he's missing his two kids since they are with their mother for the summer. I didn't leave the sauna until after...but I tried to avoid any confrontation with him. I don't want him blowing up on me again!

I'm still not divorced so I'm keeping myself away from him right now. I also don't think the LDR girl is going so well. I'm not even going to ask about her.

Thank you for being here. xoxo

Anonymous said...

HELLO MY SWEET APHRODITE, I have a major problem & I need your advice & judgment on all this CRAZYINESS! Ok now my Aries (Apr 9) & I (Sept 26) is taking a hiatus cuz when we were kicking from Jan & Feb 2013, we were sexually kicking & having fun until the.same girl cheated on me with that he post to be with found out now she tripping out as usual, she calling my phone blocked, driving by my house, keeping up mess, & cussing his family cuz they want to see our kids, but we dont like each other & we go at it all the time & she know the last 2 years that we still kick it sexually but he tells her that we not but I tell her the truth & he gets mad! But he still calls with that mess, talking about her like a dog, telling all her business & talking about how he's not happy wit her & he tired of her & the arguing about me & her controlling & neediness! So I know when they are arguing cuz she calls my phone back to back blocked bout 10 to 20 times literally no BS, but i do miss him & I be wanting to talk to him & see him but the stalker be hating, when she did it to me when we was together in 2011 now she mad cuz karma is a bitch & it came to bite her in her Ass. But I know he telling her shit about me too & I went his on Facebook & calling wifee & the getting married but when i ask him he HELL NAW SHITTING, but he be calling me, family & friends talking bout how messed up the relationship which i just found that out cuz i thought he was just telling that until they all told me!! So she is still stalking me & calling me all kinds of LESBIANS, see with me it's all about him, negative & positive, meaning that i do have kids with & i still have feelings from so she dont exist to me, i like I dont respect they relationship cuz he don't & she didnt respect ours when i was with him. APHRODITE I WANT YOU TO GIVE IT ME RAW & UNCUT, I mean i know better, I'm 34, he is 40 & she is 29 so we know whats but i dont start the mess I finish it cuz when she wants to get RATCHET, I GET RATCHET RIGHT WIT HER, but I know he playing the both of us & he LOVES when we argue over him!! So APHRODITE how do you think i should handle the next episode when it comes cuz he gone call talking bout he wants to come back home & he tired of her shit! I'm confused or crazy, PLEASE HELP APHRODITE!!!!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
This man cannot be that special that he's worth putting up with cheating and drama like this. He's clearly stringing both of you women along without remorse.

Sounds to me like he's a sociopath that is enjoying the conflict and pain he's creating.

No man in the world is worth this dear - NONE. When he speaks negatively to you about her, I guarantee you he's speaking negatively about you to her. He clearly lacks a conscience, as sociopaths generally do, and he clearly doesn't genuinely care about either one of you women he's involved with as he's causing you both a tremendous amount of pain - and for what? Is he a great guy? Does he take you out to nice dinners and treat you well? Does he have a nice big house he's moved you into? Does he have a great job and a great career that make him a good provider? Is he taking you on trips all over the world?

What is HE doing for YOU, that you feel it necessary to tolerate this type of poor treatment?

The entire situation is toxic dear, toxic to everyone involved and HE is the cause of that, not the other woman - HIM.

I'd suggest dumping this dude cold turkey and finding a man that's a real man - one that will treat you right, appreciate you and not put you through this type of painful high school drama.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh thank you so much Aphrodite, I'm going to do just that, I knew was going to say that, my mind said the same thing & no his nothing to give he's a BUM, uses woman & did it all his life, he loves selling wolf tickets & he dont give a damn, but he uses his Penis to get what he wants & thinks he's a PIMP, thats what he tells people & just found out that he is or suppose to be sleeping with a handful of men too Aphrodite, that's what hurt the most & she know it too, Mr. Anonymous called me & hold & told us that my Aries is bisexual & will anything for money & playing the same games with these men & nor using any protection with any of us!! SO APHRODITE YOU SAY , HIM ALONE PERIOD EVEN THOUGH I GOT KIDS WITH HIM & he has 20 kids, 2 ex wives, cheated every on of them & baby mothers & never took care of his kids, I have 4 by him, the most of the all & no help from him period, but he is selfish too, very selfish, he buy clothes for him not the kids & i bet he not taking care.her baby either but she say he pay bills & take of child, i doubt it tho!! Yes thats I what I been dealing with for 7 years Aphrodite!! Whoo, so you say cut him off, WILL DO CUZ I VALUE YOUR OPINION, ROYALLY!!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous July 29, 11:15AM,
This guy is a mess dear - and a RISK TO YOUR HEALTH. The lifestyle he's living poses health risks to everyone involved. You might as well be sleeping with all the folks he sleeps with, because when you do that unprotected, that's pretty much what it amounts to.

And you have no clue if he's doing this for money or not - he's calling himself a pimp, but it's sounding to me like he's a "trick" - and not the pimp.

These men he's sleeping with, they may have drug addictions, they may be carrying viruses as a result of their lifestyle and they may pass that onto you dear. The HPV virus is a VERY REAL THREAT to a woman's life as any contact with it can result in cervical cancer. And cervical cancer is a silent killer right now. Many have it, few speak openly of it.

"cervical cancer kills about 4,000 women in the U.S. and about 300,000 women worldwide."

It is contracted through exposure to the HPV virus. A virus which many consider the "common cold" of the sex world - and men very rarely, if ever, show symptoms of it. And women do not know they've come in contact with it until later in life, when conditions develop that permit it to expand into cancer. This can be 20 or more years after exposure dear. It starts to pop up around the 40 - 55 year age mark, even though a lot of women DON'T have the virus, but have come into contact with it years earlier.

This man is NOT worth that risk dear. Not at all. You have children to think of and they need you around because if you're not, he's clearly not going to step up the plate. Fathering 20 children is downright IRRESPONSIBLE. It's irresponsible behavior and it's also behavior that the rest of us have to support - because it's our tax dollars via social assistance that actually pay for HIS irresponsibility in raising those children.

If he's there father, that's fine - but that has nothing to do with you. You are not required to remain enmeshed sexually with him because of that. Being a father and being your sexual partner are TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS - and being a father has nothing to do with being sexually active with you. He can be a father to his children and you can have a life outside of him - you're not required to sleep with him. And I imagine that doing so, only confuses the hell out of your children.

You don't want your kids to think that this is how a healthy relationship between a man and a woman is. You need to be an example for them regarding that. It's up to YOU to show them what a healthy relationship is and lead by example. It's up to YOU to teach your daughters how men should properly treat them and it's up to YOU to teach your sons how to properly respect a woman and how to be a REAL MAN - a responsible, upstanding, authentic human being of a man.

Cut this one loose and don't EVER look back dear.

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